Are you doing things out of guilt & obligation?

As much as I like to write original things for you all, there are times when I come across things from others that is definitely worth sharing with you. There are many, many, many, wonderful people out there doing their very best to help spread a positive message and provide superb guidance.

It just so happens that this time, it comes from one of my friends, Pamela Gregory. Pamela has been a guest twice on my Blog talk Radio show. She is a beautiful soul and has blessed many people with her talks about forgiveness and the power it has to change lives. I suggest you learn more about Pamela by going to her web site, http://pamelagregory.com/.

If you would like to listen to the recording of our shows together, here are the links:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/HarryShade/2009/06/18/Talking-Forgiveness-with-Pamela-Gregory

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/HarryShade/2009/06/25/Permission-to-Honor-Yourself-with-Pamela-Gregory

Without further delay, here is a note I received from Pamela as part of her Facebook group, Forgiveness Healing.

Doing the Right Thing vs. Guilt and Obligation by Pamela Gregory

Have you ever noticed that when you've done something for someone because you felt guilted into it, whether by yourself or them, that it didn't benefit either of you in the end? Think back and notice times in your life when you made a decision to do something because you “had” to, and not because you felt it was the right thing to do or had the guidance to do. Guilt and obligation are both negative energies, so the only outcome that could result is a negative one.

Even when you have the INTENTION to want to help, but you do so because you will feel guilty if you don't, it will end up being a lose/lose for both of you.The contrasting affect is, when we do something because we know it is the right thing to do, it benefits BOTH sides. Doing what we know in our heart is right ALWAYS results in a double blessing. Doing the right thing may not be fun, convenient, or something we would choose to do if a certain need didn't exist, but when you look back after the fact, you feel good inside...which is healthy for you, and those you've helped feel the love and care shown by your efforts, which obviously is healthy for them.

This reminds me of a lecture given by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He spoke of a study that showed a rather dramatic boost in the immune system in individuals who were the receivers of an act of kindness. In addition, they discovered the one who performed the act of kindness also had a boost in their immune system...and even an observer of this kind act showed a strengthening in their immune system. This proves, as if we needed proof, that by doing the right thing really does make a difference, in more ways than we ever knew.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't tie in forgiveness here. When you forgive others, it most definitely is “doing the right thing” as the benefits to you are tremendous. When you harbor anger and are unforgiving of ourselves or another, it leads to an acid environment in our body. Acid thoughts create acid in the body. Cancer can only survive in an acid environment. Anger releases high voltage toxic chemicals inside your body, contributing to heart disease. It also pulls calcium from your bones and joints, resulting in arthritis and osteoporosis... the brain shuts down making it impossible to think clearly. Do you see all the dis-ease that is caused by these toxic thoughts? Do you see the damage you are doing to yourself when holding on to the pain and anger from the past?

This is why, FORGIVENESS (letting go of anger) is so HEALING...and is most definitely “doing the right thing” for everyone involved. :)

Share LOVE All Ways ~ Pamela

NOTE: To read this message in other languages, please go to the Articles tab on my website http://pamelagregory, scroll to the bottom to the translator, and pick your desired language...

PS. If you haven't already done so, please consider signing the online petition to create an Int'l Forgiveness Day!!http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/International-Forgiveness-Day/

"Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon iron, both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it, as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal." - South

"Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but that mark of a fake messiah." -
Richard Bach

So, are you doing things our of obligation and/or guilt?

Or are you coming from a place of love, joy and positive energy?

Anytime that we do anything with love as the foundation, it benefits everyone involved. So, let's throw out guilt and obligation and replace it with love, love, love. And while we are at it, let's toss in some forgiveness, (which is just another aspect of love), for good measure.

Once again, you bless me every time you read my blog. Please share your thoughts and comments and if you feel it worthy, share my blog with everyone you know!

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry

Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common

harry@raresenseunlimited.com

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

A Life Well Lived!

My wife's Grandmother transitioned this past Sunday, she was 95 years old and really saw and experienced a lot of changes in her time. Even if she spent her whole life in West Virginia and did not travel out of the area much, she was witness to massive changes that have taken place in the last 50 years.

She was born in 1912, lived through two world wars, the Depression, the 50's, 60's, '70s, '80s, '90s and almost an entire decade in the new millenium. Unfortunately for me, I really did not get to know her as well as I would have liked. There are so many questions I wanted to ask her and so many answers that I will never get to hear. It is my loss and one that I wish I had taken the time to experience. Boy time really is relentless, so one lesson here is to take more time to seek out and talk with the elderly family members as they will one day leave us. Not to get off the subject but quite frankly a similar thing happened when my Dad passed away suddenly, almost ten years ago. There was too much unspoken between us. So, I for one am going to do better and take more time to visit with the ones I love!

One other thing about this story is truly tragic. Grandma Cutright was one of 13 children, a very large family that is virtually unheard of in the U.S. these days and had 5 children of her own. The tragedy is that her children do nothing but bicker and fight. They do not realize what a gem they had in their mother and what that woman did for them. Now it is too late, she is gone and they can never get the time back that they wasted disagreeing over material things. Quite frankly I do not know everything about Grandma Cutright and how she treated her children but that really does not matter nor is it the point.

Sometimes, we just don't do enough to look for the good in others. We keep ourselves trapped in the past by reliving all the transgressions, perceived or real, someone has done to us. One can neither live for the present nor even plan for the future if they are stuck in the past. It puts us in a holding pattern of sorts, takes away our power of choice & creativity and robs us of our time. We need to do a better job of forgiving others, so that we may live our own life, on our terms!

So, if you are one of those people, please take the time to review your own life and see if you are possibly doing the same thing. I know, life is busy but one day we too will have a "Grandma Cutright" or a parent that we wished we had spent more time with and it will be too late!

Saturday, we will say goodbye to Grandma Cutright and hopefully, her family can also say goodbye to all the hurt, fighting and seperateness. Maybe they can finally forgive and come together once more as FAMILY! Only time will tell!

Forgiveness: A sign of strength or weakness?

I have heard people say that revenge rather than forgiveness is the way to go. Some will even go as far to say that forgiving someone is cowardly, or unmanly, foolish and shows weakness. Don't believe them. Those are the people that want to live in the past and keep everyone else there as well.

For you see, that forgiveness is actually the more, strong, courageous, honorable, mature and spiritual thing to do. When we refuse to forgive another's perceived transgressions all we are doing is continuing to allow those same transgressions to hurt us over and over again. We are literally giving them power to take not only our time and effort but our spirit as well. So then, those that have transgressed against us in the past get the advantage of doing it over and over again.

No, forgiveness is neither weak, cowardly nor foolish. It is what we must do if we are to continue to grow and become the best person we can be and that takes, strength, courage and vision.