The Three Simple Steps to Dealing With Adversity

There are times when life throws us a curve ball, which some label as adversity. It is at these times that we can either deal with the situation in a positive forward moving way or wallow in the negativity of it and then wonder why we cannot find a solution.

Well, as you know, I love to help others with things that have worked for me and today is more of the same. I have a simple, three step process that allows me to quickly, easily and efficiently create a solution for any adversity I may have tossed my way. It is evaluate, illuminate and execute.

I am going to share that process but first some things to be aware of and avoid at all costs, so that you can use this simple, effective process.

WORRY – Do not give in to worry. Worry has never resolved anything; in fact, it only compounds the issue at hand by increasing stress and decreasing our capacity to think clearly. Worry does not lead to a solution; rather it is an adversity multiplier. And do not tell me that it is easier said than done. It is simply a choice like any other.

PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS (PBA) – This sticks us between steps one and two (evaluate & illuminate) and does not allow us to ever get to step three (execute). People who are in a constant state of analysis are looking for the perfect solution, not just a solution. It is fear, anxiety, low confidence and pessimism that keeps them stuck. The best way to break the bond of PBA is to come up with a solution that resolves the issue and then just executing it right away.

PROCRASTINATION – It will absolutely do you no good at all, if you complete steps one and two and then allow procrastination to not allow your solution to be implemented. The only thing that procrastination will do is immediately stop any and all forward momentum that was created from completing the first two steps and lead to frustration. Stop procrastination by deciding that you will do it NOW and procrastinate later.

OK, now what you have all been waiting for, the promise of a simple, effective process, so let’s begin, well at the beginning.

Step 1: Evaluate

The first thing I do is take a moment to center myself by taking some deep breaths. This actually serves two purposes. By breathing deeply I am calming my body down, because adversity tends to bring about that adrenaline surge and I am also getting more oxygen to my brain which will help with clear thinking and creativity. I have always preferred this to the “slap me back into reality” method.

Then I quickly evaluate the situation by asking some simple questions starting with, “Is this a life & death situation?”

Those that can remain calm and think clearly have a much better chance of avoiding death, I might add.

Then some other questions I ask myself,

“What resources do I have to resolve this?”

“Am I the solution to the situation or do I know someone who can resolve this?”

“What does the situation call for in resolving it? Time? Effort? Money?

Those are just some examples of questions. I am sure you get the picture. So, let’s move on to step two.

Step 2: Illuminate

I used the word illuminate here because to illuminate is to cast light onto something and in this case I mean “light” in a couple ways. First of all, it is the light of the Universe that I am talking about and that light comes in the help and guidance I ask for; the light of me being positive and the light of creativity that is generated to help resolve the issue.

And so by illuminating the situation in body (relaxed and alert); mind (clear thinking) and spirit (connecting with my higher self to access guidance and help), I can come up with an effective solution.

And now we have arrived at the final step in the process.

Step 3: Execute

The first two steps are only effective if you execute the solution that was created in the second step. Remember as shared earlier, avoiding worry and Paralysis By Analysis (PBA) is the only way to get to this step.

Now that you have a solution, execute it! It is that simple really. The biggest thing that will kill it here is procrastination, as we discussed in the earlier, so the quicker you execute the solution, the less chance for procrastination.

That’s it! Three simple, yet effective and efficient steps to resolving any adversity. Remember, if it is simple, you are more likely to do it! And the more you do it, the easier and more effortless it becomes for you.

Harry E. Shade

I SEE YOU!

I SEE YOU! 

While I know that those words have been spoken before, they have taken on a new meaning and perhaps even more importance ever since they were uttered on the big screen in Avatar and I was reminded how powerful those words are when I watched the movie again here recently.

I SEE YOU!

It is those things that we see as different that separates us and thus can cause conflict. I know one way we can resolve our issues and that is to approach each other from the basic level that we all share together and that is as human beings. If we simply start and end there, then nothing else will really matter.

I SEE YOU! 

For me, when I look at another person, I see no race, creed, nationality, religion or sex, rather simply another human being.

I SEE YOU!

By taking that approach to life, we can heal this world and it's conflicts. We will no longer tolerate any human being starving to death, being tortured or denied the basic necessities of life.

I SEE YOU!

By truly seeing each other we will naturally progress to live in peace and harmony with each other and the world around us. Which means it will no longer be acceptable to treat our home, Mother Earth, with the disdain and disrespect that we do.

I SEE YOU!

What do these words mean to you? Do you see me? To me, it means the end of separation, fear, war, hunger and pain and the dawning of a new world of love, peace, joy, harmony and prosperity for all!

I SEE YOU!

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Love and light,

Harry

Vibrational Match and Alignment With Purpose

As I continue the experiment of videotaping my live radio show, this week I present my show Rare Sense Thoughts and the theme of Vibrational Match and Alignment With Purpose. Now, the sound is a bit scrathcy in places and I am still working on the lighting but once again, I had fun. I will continue to improve things, in the meantime, I hope you can find some useful information in this segment.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.












Harry Shade
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/harryshade

Tips on How To Be Happy

Rare Sense Thougths 2/23/10
I decided to experiment and record a video of me doing my live Blog Talk radio show, Rare Sense Thoughts, from this past Tuesday, 2/23/10. And even though it did not come out perfect, that was not the goal. The goal was to have fun and see if this was feasible. I think it was but I would love your feedback on it.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry Shade

Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled & Balanced Life

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/harryshade

45 Lessons of Life Taught Me by Regina Brett

I have said in the past that when I run across something that I feel is worthy, I will pass it on through my blog. Well, this is more than worthy, this is great stuff. :)

This is something we should all read at least once a week, if not everyday!

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of "The Plain Dealer", Cleveland, Ohio. Here is what she has to say: "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more."

45 Lessons Life Taught Me.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Regina truly has "rare sense" indeed. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. Please feel free to share this post with anyone you feel would benefit from it and leave your comments.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry Shade
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled & Balanced Life
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com

20 Tips for Permanent Weight Loss

As I often say, we must keep our body, mind and spirit in balance to live a fulfilled and balanced life. One of the challenges our society faces, especially in the US, is weight gain and obesity. As I stated in an earlier blog post, humans were not meant to be sedentary beings or in other words, "couch potatoes". Our bodies crave movement and along with that, proper nutrition.

In an effort to help those who are challenged with weight gain and are seeking ways to get rid of those extra pounds permanently, below is a 2007 article from the Mayo Clinic with wonderful tips for permanent weight loss.

20 Tips for Permanent Weight Loss

Exercise is one of 20 keys to permanent weight loss, according to the Mayo Clinic.

7/10/2007

Weight maintenance is much like weight loss. The principles are essentially the same: Eat healthy foods, control your portion sizes and exercise regularly. And to keep the pounds off permanently, you need to incorporate the new, healthy behaviors into your routine so that they become a natural part of your daily life. And no, pork rinds and beer twice a week are not on the list.

Here are 20 ideas to reinforce your healthy lifestyle and to keep you committed to permanent weight loss, which seems healthier than our previous commitment to gradual weight gain.

1. Exercise 30 to 60 minutes each day. If time is limited, exercise for several brief periods throughout the day — for example, three 10-minute sessions rather than one 30-minute session. (And if the word "exercise" immediately puts negative thoughts in your mind, substitute the phrase "move your body".)

2. Eat three healthy meals during the day, including a good breakfast. Skipping meals causes increased hunger and may lead to excessive snacking.

3. Focus on fruits and vegetables. Top off your morning cereal with sliced strawberries or bananas. Stir berries or peaches in yogurt or cottage cheese. Liven up your sandwiches with vegetables, such as tomato, lettuce, onion, peppers and cucumber.

4. Weigh yourself regularly. Monitoring your weight can tell you whether your efforts are working and can help you detect small weight gains before they become even larger.

5. Don't keep comfort foods in the house. If you tend to eat high-fat, high-calorie foods when you're upset or depressed or bored, don't keep them around. Availability of food is one of the strongest factors in determining how much a person eats.

6. Plan a family activity. Get the family together to go for a bike ride, play disc golf or kick the ball around in the yard.

7. Eat healthy foods first. Eat foods that are healthy and low in calories first so that when it comes time to enjoy your favorites — sweets or junk food, for example — you won't be so hungry.

8. Pay attention to portions. Serve meals already dished onto plates instead of placing serving bowls on the table. Take slightly less than what you think you'll eat. You can always have seconds, if really necessary.

9. Create opportunities to be active. Wash your car at home instead of going to the car wash. Bike or walk to the store. Participate in your kid's activities at the playground or park.

10. Sit down together for family meals. Avoid eating in front of the television. TV viewing strongly affects how much and what people eat.

11. See what you eat. Eating directly from a container gives you no sense of how much you're eating. Seeing food on a plate or in a bowl keeps you aware of how much you're eating.

12. Vary your activities. Regularly change your activity routine to avoid exercise burnout. Walk a couple of days, swim another and go for a bike ride on the weekend. Seek out new activities — karate, ballroom dancing, cross-country skiing, tennis or Pilates.

13. De-stress your day. Stress can cause you to eat more. Develop strategies that can help you relax when you find yourself becoming stressed. Exercise, deep breathing, muscle relaxation techniques and even a good laugh can ease stress.

14. Eat at home. People eat more food in restaurants than at home. Limit how often you eat at restaurants. If you do eat out, decide what and how much you're going to eat before you start and have the rest boxed to go.

15. Plan healthy snacks. The best snacks include fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low-fat dairy products. Fruit smoothies, sliced fresh fruit and yogurt, whole-grain crackers, and carrot and celery sticks with peanut butter are all good choices.

16. Start your day with a high-fiber breakfast cereal, such as bran flakes, shredded wheat or oatmeal. Opt for cereals with "bran" or "fiber" in the name. Or add a few tablespoons of unprocessed wheat bran to your favorite cereal.

17. Walk for 10 minutes over your lunch hour or get up a few minutes earlier in the morning and go for a short walk.

18. Plan a week's worth of meals at a time. Make a detailed grocery list to eliminate last-minute trips to the grocery store and impulse buys.

19. Look for a distraction when you're fighting a craving. Call a friend, put on music and dance or exercise, clean the house, pull weeds in your garden, or run an errand. When your mind is occupied with something else, the cravings quickly go away.

20. Reward yourself. Losing weight and keeping the pounds off is a major accomplishment. Celebrate your success with nonfood rewards, such as new clothes or an outing with friends.

I will certainly say that there is nothing earth shattering here. Most of what is in this article has been said for years. However, many people with weight challenges keep looking for that magic pill. First of all, what really takes here is time and effort. The weight did not magically appear on your body overnight and will not come off that way. It took time and effort to gain the weight and so it will also take time and effort to lose it. Secondly, to accomplish anything in life it also takes desire, determination & dedication. All the same things that are required to be able to live that life of fulfillment and balance.

Most of all, you have to know that you are worthy to have the life of your dreams, a life of fulfillment and balance. If that includes a life at a lower weight, then know that you are worthy of it. Do not just hope or believe it, KNOW IT, right down to the very cells of your being! Know that you are worthy of every good thing that will come to you, including a healthy body.

Once again, I thank you for reading my words. Please take the time to comment and share your thoughts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled & Balanced Life
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com

Are You Living Like You Were Dying?

I awoke this morning to Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying."

Here is the YouTube video of it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8

It is such a wonderful song with a powerful message and it got me thinking about what topic I wanted to write on today and so I decided to ask these questions:

ARE YOU LIVING LIKE YOU WERE DYING?

Or are you simply going through the motions?

What would it take for you to live that way?

Would it actually take a "death" sentence diagnosis from a doctor? Let's hope not!

The funny thing is from the time we are born, in a way, we are essentially dying. Life naturally leads to the death of at least our physical bodies, so why do we not live this way naturally. I mean, if you think about it, given the right circumstances, we do as a child. If we are not one of the unfortunate ones who came into this life in less than ideal circumstances, then our days are filled with play, joy, and wonder.

Then we grow up and alot of that vanishes under the weight of responsibility and societal pressures. We tend to suppress play and curiosity and replace it with worry and busyness. We are no longer simply being, we are into doing and having and have left being behind but like the proverbial three legged stool, we need the being to be in balance.

You see, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in, we are technically dying anyway. Every second many, many cells in our bodies die and are replaced. As we age, some of those cells are no longer replaced and eventually we leave our body and venture off into the realm of spirit.

So, what can we do to hold onto those childlike qualities and balance them with the "grown up" circumstances of life. What can we do to live like we were dying, for in fact we are. Just because we do not have that "death sentence" diagnosis, we are still heading to that transitional state called death.

Here are some ideas to live like you were dying:

1. Take time everyday for play, something that makes your heart smile and your soul sing.

2. Learn something new everyday, challenge your mind.

3. Move your body, your body craves and needs movement, we were not meant to sendentary beings, so get up and move.

4. Expand & nurture your circles, make new friends and connect with old ones.

5. Make time to visit and experience someplace new.

6. Take time for just you, get a massage, meditate, listen to your favorite music, whatever.

I am sure you can come up with a whole list of things, kinda like a Bucket List. You know a list of all the things you want to do before you, well, "kick the bucket". However, instead of calling it a Bucket List, why not call it a Living List?

Why wait another second? Go and live like you were dying, simply because that is how we were meant to live.

Thank you for taking the time to read my words. I am blessed that you would do so. Please comment, for this is how we all learn from one another.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry

Author - Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life.

harry@raresenseunlimited.com

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

What do you reflect upon?

For anyone who has followed me for any length of time, you know I love quotes and now I have added a thought to get you reflecting even more.

Quote

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~Charles Dickens

Thought

"You can't feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. One will always drive out the other. So the question is: Which would you rather be-angry or happy? Indignant or grateful? Upset or serene? Would you rather hold onto your self-righteous resentment or fill your heart with forgiveness and gratitude?"

~Mac Anderson and BJ Gallagher, authors "Learning to Dance in the Rain"

So, what are you reflecting on today?

Is it all the blessings you have or the things that you don't?

Do you look at the positive or the negative?

Where you place your emphasis will show up most in your life.

So, do you want happiness or misery?

Seems like a silly question because who would want misery or pain or anything negative? Obviously, many, many people because that is where they place their focus and their thoughts. Remember what you think about, where you put your focus, the energy that radiates from you, creates your reality. You attract exactly to you what your thoughts produce.

My recommendation, think good thoughts and you will get good results. I am not saying that everything in your life will change in an instant or overnight because like anything else it took time for you to get where you are today and it will take time to change those habits, however, you will feel instantly better when you focus on all the blessings you have and this will get your life going in the direction you want it to go.

And while this is really simple I can tell you that this is where it all begins. Don't believe me? Check in with yourself. How is your life going? What thoughts are you both subconsciously and consciously thinking? Do you ever find yourself saying bad things about yourself in your head? Are you ever surprised by the negative things that come out of your mouth? Would you be friends with you, if you talked about you the way you talk about yourself? Think about it and the answers will reveal themselves.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. I am blessed that you have done so. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry
Author - "Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life"
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

The "Negative" side of life has a purpose.

I was sitting around thinking about how we talk about balance and harmony in our lives and that perfection is not what we should be seeking but yet (and I have been guilty of this myself) we tell ourselves and others to not have any negative thoughts or avoid negative people. While I will acknowledge that keeping these experiences down to a minimum is desirable, if we are truly living they cannot and should not be avoided.

I have come to realize that those things we call "negative" actually have a place and a purpose in our lives. We live in a world full of dichotomies: up/down; left/right; happy/sad, and positive/negative. And if we are truly living in harmony and balance, both the positive and negative are part of the whole. What I have come to learn is really important, is to to embrace it all for it all is part of life. And of course this quote just happened to show up in my email today:
"Someone once asked Norman Vincent Peale, 'Don't you think life would be better if we had fewer problems?' Peale said, 'I'll be happy to take you to Woodlawn Cemetery, because the only people I know who don't have any problems are dead.' The point is we can't avoid problems, so we might as well expect them and embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow." ~ Mac Anderson, author, Charging the Human Battery http://www.macanderson.com/



So truly, we should not be seeking a life with no problems, challenges and/or negative experiences for they also help us on our path. We should not however dwell in that space but rather learn from all our experiences and move onward and upward.

In her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford makes the truly valid point for acknowledging and embracing the "dark" side of ourselves because we all have it. Some call it our shadow side and while we do not want that dark side to be at the forefront of who we are, it does in fact serve a purpose, if for no other reason than to remind us of who we truly are and what we want to show the world. http://www.debbieford.com/



Negative things happen to us all but if we look at them as another way to learn and grow as Mac Anderson suggested, then are they truly "negative"? I say no, for anything that helps us with our growth must be positive.

So, allow yourself to experience those so called "negative" events. Just recognize what they are and how they can help us. Do not dwell in that space but do not ignore it either for it is part and parcel of who we are as humans. And especially we need not feel guilty or ashamed if we have negative thoughts about anything. We do however, want to acknowledge those thoughts and discover why we are having them. What do we need to work on? How can we learn and grow from them?

I am blessed to have you read my blog and I truly hope I have provided you with some food for thought. Please share your comments, thoughts and suggestions.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry


Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Taking care of you!

"Love yourself so that you may love others. Nurture yourself, so that you may nurture others." - Harry Shade

One of the things I find to be utterly important, especially for those in what I call the helping fields, but anyone in general, is that we take time for ourselves. We need to care for ourselves to be able to care for others.

We are usually doing things for others and so we do not take time to ensure we are well. But if we are not in top form, how do we expect to give our best to others? If we are not our best we cannot possibly give our best to others.

I know what you may be thinking. "I feel guilty when I do things for myself." I cannot take time for me, when I have all these responsibilities." "I feel like if I am not taking care of my family, then no one will."

Well, first of all guilt in all shapes and forms must be removed from our lives for it really serves no purpose other than to stress us out. Secondly, we do not need martyrs. What is needed are people who can care for others because they have cared for themselves.

We cannot be any good for others if:

We are sick!

We are tired!

We are stressed!

We are depressed!

We are depleted!

We are not our best!

So, we must take the time to ensure we are healthy and well. That way we can be at our best and give our best to the world around us.

We must then:

Eat healthy.

Get regular physical checkups.

Exercise our mind and body.

Feed our soul.

Listen to our bodies.

Get plenty of sleep.

Nurture ourselves.

Learn and experience new things.

Hydrate our bodies.

Make time to get away.

Declutter and destress.

In this way, we will be at our best and so will be able to give our best. Once again, this is not a selfish but rather a selfless act.

What are you doing everyday to nurture YOU?

"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." - Micky Mantle

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I am honored that you would do so. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments on this subject.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One day It Will Be Common
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Instructions for Life by the Dalai Laama

This list purported to be from the Dalai Lama, has been around for awhile and yet I was compelled to share it once again. I believe it is because we can never be reminded enough that the simplest things in life are often the most profound.

Instructions for Life . . . by the Dalai Lama

- Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

- Follow the three r's. Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.

- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

- Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

- Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

- When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

- Spend some time alone every day.

- Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

- Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

- In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

- Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

- Be gentle with the earth.

- Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

- Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

- Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

- Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

I hope you enjoyed this list and will use it's powerful lessons to improve your life and the lives of those you touch.

Thank you for taking the time to read and share my blog. I really appreciate your comments and suggestions.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Are you doing things out of guilt & obligation?

As much as I like to write original things for you all, there are times when I come across things from others that is definitely worth sharing with you. There are many, many, many, wonderful people out there doing their very best to help spread a positive message and provide superb guidance.

It just so happens that this time, it comes from one of my friends, Pamela Gregory. Pamela has been a guest twice on my Blog talk Radio show. She is a beautiful soul and has blessed many people with her talks about forgiveness and the power it has to change lives. I suggest you learn more about Pamela by going to her web site, http://pamelagregory.com/.

If you would like to listen to the recording of our shows together, here are the links:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/HarryShade/2009/06/18/Talking-Forgiveness-with-Pamela-Gregory

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/HarryShade/2009/06/25/Permission-to-Honor-Yourself-with-Pamela-Gregory

Without further delay, here is a note I received from Pamela as part of her Facebook group, Forgiveness Healing.

Doing the Right Thing vs. Guilt and Obligation by Pamela Gregory

Have you ever noticed that when you've done something for someone because you felt guilted into it, whether by yourself or them, that it didn't benefit either of you in the end? Think back and notice times in your life when you made a decision to do something because you “had” to, and not because you felt it was the right thing to do or had the guidance to do. Guilt and obligation are both negative energies, so the only outcome that could result is a negative one.

Even when you have the INTENTION to want to help, but you do so because you will feel guilty if you don't, it will end up being a lose/lose for both of you.The contrasting affect is, when we do something because we know it is the right thing to do, it benefits BOTH sides. Doing what we know in our heart is right ALWAYS results in a double blessing. Doing the right thing may not be fun, convenient, or something we would choose to do if a certain need didn't exist, but when you look back after the fact, you feel good inside...which is healthy for you, and those you've helped feel the love and care shown by your efforts, which obviously is healthy for them.

This reminds me of a lecture given by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He spoke of a study that showed a rather dramatic boost in the immune system in individuals who were the receivers of an act of kindness. In addition, they discovered the one who performed the act of kindness also had a boost in their immune system...and even an observer of this kind act showed a strengthening in their immune system. This proves, as if we needed proof, that by doing the right thing really does make a difference, in more ways than we ever knew.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't tie in forgiveness here. When you forgive others, it most definitely is “doing the right thing” as the benefits to you are tremendous. When you harbor anger and are unforgiving of ourselves or another, it leads to an acid environment in our body. Acid thoughts create acid in the body. Cancer can only survive in an acid environment. Anger releases high voltage toxic chemicals inside your body, contributing to heart disease. It also pulls calcium from your bones and joints, resulting in arthritis and osteoporosis... the brain shuts down making it impossible to think clearly. Do you see all the dis-ease that is caused by these toxic thoughts? Do you see the damage you are doing to yourself when holding on to the pain and anger from the past?

This is why, FORGIVENESS (letting go of anger) is so HEALING...and is most definitely “doing the right thing” for everyone involved. :)

Share LOVE All Ways ~ Pamela

NOTE: To read this message in other languages, please go to the Articles tab on my website http://pamelagregory, scroll to the bottom to the translator, and pick your desired language...

PS. If you haven't already done so, please consider signing the online petition to create an Int'l Forgiveness Day!!http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/International-Forgiveness-Day/

"Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon iron, both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it, as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal." - South

"Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but that mark of a fake messiah." -
Richard Bach

So, are you doing things our of obligation and/or guilt?

Or are you coming from a place of love, joy and positive energy?

Anytime that we do anything with love as the foundation, it benefits everyone involved. So, let's throw out guilt and obligation and replace it with love, love, love. And while we are at it, let's toss in some forgiveness, (which is just another aspect of love), for good measure.

Once again, you bless me every time you read my blog. Please share your thoughts and comments and if you feel it worthy, share my blog with everyone you know!

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry

Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common

harry@raresenseunlimited.com

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

20 Simple Ways to Get Happy

From time to time I find other articles that I feel I should share. Things that can help us all be a better people and to live a better life. Today is one such day.

Of course, what would be a blog from me without a quote!

"The truth is that all of us attain the greatest success and happiness possible in this life whenever we use our native capacities to their greatest extent. " - Dr. Smiley Blanton

The below article is from Reader's Digest. Here is the link: http://http//www.rd.com/living-healthy/20-simple-ways-to-get-happy/article16181.html. This is a rather lengthy post but definitely worth the read.

Happiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to the size of your bank account. We're not suggesting that you can reach a permanent state called "happiness" and remain there. But there are many ways to swerve off the path of anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness into a state of happiness once or even several times throughout the day. This Reader's Digest article offers 20 ideas to help get you started. Choose the ones that work for you. If tuning out the news or making lists will serve only to stress you further, try another approach.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now -- the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book -- and turning the light out an hour later -- can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness -- the same parts activated by food or sex. It's also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn't have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It's nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven't balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks -- such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing -- can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you're doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren't necessary and that you don't enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you're feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There's nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you're writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we're exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

11. Take a dog for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of 240 couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stressors than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly 401(k) statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, Chinese researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time -- and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today's frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.
16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you're walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing "mindfulness," a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises, according to David Myers, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life's meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life's woes. Even if you're not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.

I am sure you will have other things to add to this list. What I find most interesting is that like life itself, the keys to happiness are found in the simple things. So, what are you doing to bring happiness to you and the world around you?

Once again, I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. If you feel it has helped you in any way and will help others please send them a link to it. It is my intention to help as many people as I can to be the best they can be. Please share your thoughts, ideas and comments.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - "Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common"
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Are you in the game of life?

"I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on." - Eleanor Roosevelt

This is so very true for various reasons. If we are not willing to be involved, why then should we expect others to be? If we are not willing to change then how can we expect others to change? If we are content with the way things are, then how can we ask others to question and ponder things?

Life is a series of events and experiences that should both challenge and comfort us, to bring us closer to the source, to inspire us to greater things, to motivate us to be of service, to allow us to show love and compassion.

By just sitting in the corner and simply observing we are missing out on the most rewarding things in life. While some observation is necessary, important and helpful, we cannot allow it to be all that we do, for true living requires that we take action and be involved. When we are fully in the game of life, we are truly living because we are engaging each other, helping each other, encouraging one another and experiencing everything this life has to offer.

So, are you in the game of life or are you simply sitting on the sidelines observing?

Are you content with where you are or looking to grow?

Thank you for taking your precious time to read my blog. It is my intention to inspire you to deeper levels of thought. I encourage you to share your thoughts and comments.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry Shade

Author - "Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common"

harry@raresenseunlimited.com

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Where is your attention?

Albert Einstein said: "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."

So, where is your attention?

Is it where it needs to be?

Is it on the proverbial kiss, the goals you seek?

Or is it scattered and not focused as it should be?

If your attention is in fact where it needs to be, you will reach your goals easily and effortlessly, while having the time of your life getting there.

If not, you will stumble around, lost and bewildered, wondering why things just never seem to work out for you and the experience will not be enjoyable, there will be frustration, misunderstanding and doubt!

Attention is a critcial element to success as it allows you to focus on the plan and the goals. It allows you to not only get the "kiss" but throughly enjoy every sweet second of it!

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry

Author: Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Is fear leading you to failure?

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein

Inherently anytime you risk doing something, you risk both failure and success but wouldn't you say that never risking anything is also a form of failure? And just what is failure anyway? To me failure is never trying, never taking the risk. Failure is not an outcome if you tried and risked something.

As far as I am concerned, failure is only failure when:

You do not even try.

You simply try but do not give it your all. Simply trying is failure because of just that.

You gave it your all and still did not succeed based upon what you perceived success was for you.

But did you really even fail then? I say "no" and the reason I say "no" is, if you gave it absolutely everything you had, you put your heart and soul into it, it would only be a failure if you neither learned nor gained anything from the act.

We, however gain knowledge and/or experience from everything we do. It may not be apparent but we do. At a minimum, the learning happens on the cellular level and so our body learned.

The one thing we all must conquer is fear for fear can and will paralyze us into taking no action and thus risking nothing and so gaining nothing,which in fact then leads to failure.

So, how do we conquer fear? Through love. You see the opposite of love is not in fact hate, it is fear.

As the saying goes, "love can move mountains" and it truly can. So, inject love into everything you do and fear will simply fade allowing you to experience life in all it's glory and splendor. And remember it is the journey not the destanation that matters most because therein lies the knowledge and experiences of life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Please, feel free to comment and share.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry Shade
Author - Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

What are you going to do?

There has been a story circulating recently about a "good samaritan" who was cited by the Colorado State Police for jaywalking, even though, he was doing a good deed for an elderly woman. And to top it off, the "good samaritan" was severly injured during the incident.

Fortunately, common sense has finally prevailed and the citation was voided.

However, it begs the question. Would you have helped in this situation? Or would you have had to think about it because you might get cited for jaywalking?

I have to say that I believe that most people, when seeing the opportunity to help another, would do it without thinking about it. In fact, the "good samaritan" despite his injuries and receiving the citation has said that he would do it all over again.

It is that spirit of human compassion and kindness that we all need to be tapping into right now. It is things like that, which will see us through this down cycle in our economy. It is our hope, our belief, our knowing that everything will be fine in the future that will help us create a brighter future for ourselves.

We need all the "good samaritans" of the world to continue to step forward and show us that love, kindness, joy and peace are not just wonderful thoughts but the way we should be living. If one person can prosper during this time than we all can because what any of us can do, we all can do.

So, what would you do? Or better yet, what are you doing? Are you like the good samaritan that would risk it all for the sake of another? Or are you content to listen to the fear mongers and naysayers and allow them to have the power, that you have given them, to control your life?

It is up to each and every one of us to use the power that the universe has bestowed upon us to make this world a better place for us and future generations to come. Starting this very moment, we can choose peace over war, love over hate, courage over fear, prosperity over poverty, abundance over lack, joy over sorrow and health over disease.

This is our time to step up and create a world that we want, need and deserve to live in. It is time to set aside what divides us and focus on what brings us together.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog to day. You bless me with your presence. As always, feel free to share you thoughts, comments and ideas.

May you have all the love, peace, joy, good health and prosperity, in abundance, forevermore.

Harry Shade - Author

"Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life"

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Yes, we can all get along!

I have been saying for years that we have the capacity to look past our differences and those things that we use to separate us and just love one another. Here is a wonderful example of just that from the animal world. Check out this video and you will see what I mean. Then come back here and leave a comment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBtFTF2ii7U

It does not get much simpler than that. I hope this has stirred some deep seated emotions inside of you and that you would help by sharing this with everyone you know, so you too can be a part of the shift in human consciousness happening around the world at this very moment!

Thank you for taking the time to read and watch the information on my blog today. I would appreciate your help with any comments, feedback and ideas for future blog posts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com

How to evaluate a situation or decision.

I had a friend of mine contact me the other day, asking me what to do when you have made a bad decision. I decided to put my response in my blog in the hopes that it will help others.

First of all, get out of the mind set that it was a "bad" decision. It simply was a decision that you made at the time that seemed to be the way to go. No decision is bad if you learned something from it. The beautiful thing is we have the power to choose something different if something is not working.

Do not give away that power by retreating into negative thought. You made a decision, simple as that and now you have the opportunity to either choose something different or make something positive out of your current situation.

Now, here is my 5 Step System to evaluate anything:

Step 1: Sit and make a list of all the pros and cons of the various options. As well as your thoughts and feelings about each. Write down anything that comes to mind and notice if any of these feelings are coming from fear and/or doubt. While doing this ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way?" Write down your responses.

Step 2: Review the list. Make any additions/corrections as needed.

Step 3: Set the list aside and take some time to ponder it, you know meditate, go into silence, etc; ask the universe and see what guidance you get. This helps to get the emotions out of it. Sometimes when we are too emotional about something, we either block or ignore our inner knowing because of the "noise" or "chatter" caused by the emotional reaction to the situation.

Step 4: Put the list away and do not think on it for at least a day.

Step 5: Go back to the list and repeat Steps 2 and 3 and then see what guidance you get. Then go with your natural "gut" or intuitive feeling. Fear and doubt have a way of keeping us stagnant. They also release the feelings of "I made a bad decision" or "I am not good enough". Simply do not go there but rather seek guidance from that inner knowing. It will never let you down.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I hope I was able to impart some useful information. Please feel free to comment or share things that work for you. I look forward to your input.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
www.raresenseunlimited.com

Are you doing good?

I love the wisdom contained in quotes and so today I wanted to share some of them around a common theme. Are you doing good?

"In the time we have it is surely our duty to do all the good we can to all the people we can in all the ways we can." - William Barclay

Can you imagine how the world would be if we all followed this and made it our mantra?

"The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are." - Stephen R. Covey

What good are you doing today?

"It's simply a matter of doing what you do best and not worrying about what the other fellow is going to do" .- John R. Amos

Are you being as kind as possible?

"Ask yourself constantly, ‘What is the right thing to do?’" - Confucius

Are you sharing your love with the world?

"Think in terms of what's good for the other person and success will seek you out." - Mary Kay Ash

Are you sharing your unique talents with the world?

"We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it". - William Osler

Take time today to ponder both the questions and the quotes and see what you come up with. It is always a good idea to reflect on your life and see how you are living. Are you contributing to society in a positive way? Are you doing good for yourself and others?

Thanks for taking the time to read this today, I am honored that you would do so. Please share any comments you have about today's post. And to make this blog even better, I am always looking for suggestions for topics.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry
www.raresenseunlimited.com