I Choose To Be Positive

I often get asked, you are always so positive has anything really bad ever happened in your life?

My answer, of course it has; I have been divorced twice, I have been and currently am not financially sound , my father passed away suddenly several years ago, I have witnessed the worst that human beings can do to each other in my law enforcement career; I have had a baby die in my arms as the result of a drunk driver and if not for the kindness and compassion of friends, I could even have been homeless.

Now, I am not "always" positive but that is what I choose to put out in the world. I have my moments when I am angry, frustrated or sad. I do not ignore such feelings nor bury them, I feel them and allow them to come.

One difference between me and others who perhaps do not see the positivity in things is that I choose to be positive and see the positive. I also choose not to put judgement on things, like this was a "bad" and that was a "good". Or that was "right" and that was "wrong". Or that was a "mistake".

I do my best to be humble and grateful. I do my best to be kind, caring and compassionate. I do my best to use that which does not serve me to continue to discover what does.

I have grown and evolved to the point where those type of judgements simply do not serve me or allow me to live a life of joy. So, I see all things as blessings because they all have both laid the foundation for my life and continue to allow me to grow and evolve.

Do I consider myself better than anyone else? No!

I do however strive to be a better version of myself than I was the day before. I continue to do my best to take personal responsibility for everything because even though I do not control everything everyone else does, I have control over how I react to it and what actions I will take because of it.

Did all this happen overnight? Not so much! :-)

I am who I am today because of many years of experience and I am not done growing and evolving yet. I still have much work to do on me. I can still be stubborn or obstinate, and yet even that serves me, if I allow it to do so. If in no other way than to remind me that I have more work to do. Of course one could always look on the "positive" side and say that I am actually persistent and determined. ;-)

One thing that I do know, is that I have the power of choice and like any power, it comes with personal responsibility. And so, while "bad" things do happen, I have done much deep personal work that allows me to choose to see the positive in them.

I choose to continue to project that positivity to the world for two reasons. First and foremost because that is the energy and space I love to live in and secondly, because if by doing so, I can brighten up or help even one person be better themselves in that moment, then I feel I am contributing in a positive way.

When I look back on my life, it brings a huge smile to my face because there have definitely been a gazillion more positive things that have happened in my life than negative and even the negative has had a profoundly positive impact.I know that if you chose to look at your life, I dare say that for a majority of you, you can say the same.

So, just because I project positivity in every moment I can, it does not mean that "negativity" has not touched my life. It just means, I have chosen to see the "positivity" in it.

May you be blessed always and in all ways! 

Harry 

See Yourself

Yes, let us all see this together!

‪#‎raresense‬ ‪#‎beingmarvelous‬ ‪#‎harryshade‬ ‪#‎baldguynamedharry

What do you reflect upon?

For anyone who has followed me for any length of time, you know I love quotes and now I have added a thought to get you reflecting even more.

Quote

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~Charles Dickens

Thought

"You can't feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. One will always drive out the other. So the question is: Which would you rather be-angry or happy? Indignant or grateful? Upset or serene? Would you rather hold onto your self-righteous resentment or fill your heart with forgiveness and gratitude?"

~Mac Anderson and BJ Gallagher, authors "Learning to Dance in the Rain"

So, what are you reflecting on today?

Is it all the blessings you have or the things that you don't?

Do you look at the positive or the negative?

Where you place your emphasis will show up most in your life.

So, do you want happiness or misery?

Seems like a silly question because who would want misery or pain or anything negative? Obviously, many, many people because that is where they place their focus and their thoughts. Remember what you think about, where you put your focus, the energy that radiates from you, creates your reality. You attract exactly to you what your thoughts produce.

My recommendation, think good thoughts and you will get good results. I am not saying that everything in your life will change in an instant or overnight because like anything else it took time for you to get where you are today and it will take time to change those habits, however, you will feel instantly better when you focus on all the blessings you have and this will get your life going in the direction you want it to go.

And while this is really simple I can tell you that this is where it all begins. Don't believe me? Check in with yourself. How is your life going? What thoughts are you both subconsciously and consciously thinking? Do you ever find yourself saying bad things about yourself in your head? Are you ever surprised by the negative things that come out of your mouth? Would you be friends with you, if you talked about you the way you talk about yourself? Think about it and the answers will reveal themselves.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. I am blessed that you have done so. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry
Author - "Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life"
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

The "Negative" side of life has a purpose.

I was sitting around thinking about how we talk about balance and harmony in our lives and that perfection is not what we should be seeking but yet (and I have been guilty of this myself) we tell ourselves and others to not have any negative thoughts or avoid negative people. While I will acknowledge that keeping these experiences down to a minimum is desirable, if we are truly living they cannot and should not be avoided.

I have come to realize that those things we call "negative" actually have a place and a purpose in our lives. We live in a world full of dichotomies: up/down; left/right; happy/sad, and positive/negative. And if we are truly living in harmony and balance, both the positive and negative are part of the whole. What I have come to learn is really important, is to to embrace it all for it all is part of life. And of course this quote just happened to show up in my email today:
"Someone once asked Norman Vincent Peale, 'Don't you think life would be better if we had fewer problems?' Peale said, 'I'll be happy to take you to Woodlawn Cemetery, because the only people I know who don't have any problems are dead.' The point is we can't avoid problems, so we might as well expect them and embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow." ~ Mac Anderson, author, Charging the Human Battery http://www.macanderson.com/



So truly, we should not be seeking a life with no problems, challenges and/or negative experiences for they also help us on our path. We should not however dwell in that space but rather learn from all our experiences and move onward and upward.

In her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford makes the truly valid point for acknowledging and embracing the "dark" side of ourselves because we all have it. Some call it our shadow side and while we do not want that dark side to be at the forefront of who we are, it does in fact serve a purpose, if for no other reason than to remind us of who we truly are and what we want to show the world. http://www.debbieford.com/



Negative things happen to us all but if we look at them as another way to learn and grow as Mac Anderson suggested, then are they truly "negative"? I say no, for anything that helps us with our growth must be positive.

So, allow yourself to experience those so called "negative" events. Just recognize what they are and how they can help us. Do not dwell in that space but do not ignore it either for it is part and parcel of who we are as humans. And especially we need not feel guilty or ashamed if we have negative thoughts about anything. We do however, want to acknowledge those thoughts and discover why we are having them. What do we need to work on? How can we learn and grow from them?

I am blessed to have you read my blog and I truly hope I have provided you with some food for thought. Please share your comments, thoughts and suggestions.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry


Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Reunions

Tonight is the beginning of my 30 year High School Class Reunion Weekend. I am so looking forward to getting together with my classmates, many of whom I have not seen in 20 years or more. I love our class reunions because it takes me back to a time of my life that I so thoroughly enjoyed. It is where it all began for me and my friends from school had such a profound impact on my life.

Growing up in a small town like Newton Falls, Ohio, afforded me so many opportunities to grow and learn. Now, my hometown is not the hotbed of diversity but it is where I was taught honesty, ethics, dedication, commitment, the value of work, the value of a dollar, friendship and so much more. The people of Newton Falls embody the heart of soul of the Midwest, where family, God and country are most important. Where friendships last for decades and neighbors look out for one another. Where children are taught to respect their elders and education is highly valued.

I am still very close to several of my classmates today, three of which I have been some of my best friends for 43 years now. My classmates and I supported each other through our childhood. We learned the multiplication tables together. We took on the challenges of puberty together. And we were there for each other during good times as well as bad times. We survived divorces, deaths, sicknesses, heartache and grief together. We celebrated graduations, weddings, births and successes together. And now we come together to celebrate our lives and the roles we played in each of them, one more time together.

Some look upon reunions as a time to see how old we have become. I for one look at them as a celebration of life and everything it has brought us.

So, this weekend, I go home, once more to celebrate with the people who have meant so much to me. We will laugh, we may cry, but we will have fun! If you are having a reunion coming up, for whatever purposes, I urge you to go. You may just have fun and will get to reconnect with those that have had an impact on your life!

"Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven." - Tyron Edwards

That's all for today. I have reunion to get to!

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry

I love you!

I love you! The most wonderful, uplifting phrase in all the world. It does matter what language you say it in, it always has the same effect. So, how often do you say it? Do you say it enough to those in your life that matter? Could you say it to a complete stranger?

I tell my wife, child and family members that I can that I love them. We close all our conversations with "Love ya, bye!". I even tell my dog, cats and garden plants that I love them. But I am like a majority of people out there who probably would not and could not tell someone I do not know that I love them. I mean the animals and plants will not try to have me arrested or give me weird looks. OK, so the cats give me weird looks all the time but they are cats, they just do that.

So, how can I say "I love you" without actually saying it. Actually, there are numerous ways I can do this and I will share a few of them with you.

1. I can just smile at people. A smile can say "I love you". It has at least a similar effect as uttering that wonderful phrase. When you smile at someone, you are letting them know that you care. And if they smile back then you have connected on the soul level.

2. I can just think "I love you". Sure, our thoughts are creative. That energy is released into the Universe and does have a positive affect, so why not walk around and think "I love you" about everything, especially yourself. It is the energy that is most important here so release your "love" energy for all the world to feel. Quite frankly we do not tell ourselves enough that we love who we are. Like I have always said it all begins with us, so go ahead, tell yourself that you love yourself.

3. I can give a gift to someone, donate to charity or volunteer for a worthy cause. All of these actions say "I love you" and just like thinking it, you spread the energy.

4. I can just look into someones eyes and with a look of love, I can connect and share the "love" energy, so words are not really even necessary. Did you ever do that? Just look deep into someones eyes and connect with their very soul. Wow, that is always a powerful moment.

5. I can write a poem, song or letter in which I express my love for someone, something or even the entire world.

6. Finally, I can just be loving towards myself and others. I can give a compliment, open a door, help someone load groceries in their car. I can get a massage, meditate, take a walk or eat my favorite desert.

There are as many ways that you and I can spread love either by actually saying "I love you" or doing and thinking loving things. The possibilities are as endless as the Universe.

So, let's all go out there and spread love in every way we can. I know it will have an immediate impact on you and the world.

I leave you today with this quote:

"Don't spend your precious time asking 'Why isn't the world a better place?' It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is 'How can I make it better?' To that there is an answer." - Leo F. Buscaglia

I LOVE YOU!

Harry

Copyright 2008, Harry Shade, All Rights Reserved

Are you positive or negative?

From time to time I like to utilize sonderful stories to illustrate points that I teach. Here is one of those stories.

I heard the story about a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he had grown up.

The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that occurred
in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day, the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.

Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" to which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to have his friend thrown into prison.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area wherein he should have known not to hunt. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came close to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb
and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the prison to speak with his friend.

"You were right", he said,"it was good that my thumb was blown off."

And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened.

"And so I am very sorry for sending you to prison for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"

"What do you mean, 'this is good!'" said the King aghast. "How could it be good that I sent my friend to prison for a year?!"

"Well, if I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you, and I would have been eaten!"

I hope you enjoyed this story and can see how a positive outlook may even one day save your life.

That's all for today!

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry

The ABC's of Life - Create

Today's The ABC's of Life word is:

Create: “Our thoughts are creative, so let us use them to create the life and world we truly deserve.”

What kind of world are you creating for yourself? Are your thoughts positive or negative? Do you realize that it all starts inside your head? And that if you do not like your world, you can change it my merely changing your thoughts. I like to call it creating at the speed of thought.

Sounds easy, right? Well, it is simple but not necessarily easy. If you are stuck in a pattern of "stinkin thinkin" then it can be difficult to think in other ways. Difficult but not impossible. It's like the term "GIGO", you know garbage in, garbage out. While that refers to computers it is just the same for our brains. In fact, our brain is the world's greatest, most advanced computer.

So, if you think negative thoughts you will get negative consequences. You see the universe is like a big copy machine. What you put into it will most assuredly come out.

OK, here are some ways to create the world you want.

1. Think positive. If you are having trouble here then definitely work on #2, until you are thinking positive.

2. Be grateful. You cannot be grateful and negative. The two can not co-exist in the same space. It's like trying to smile and frown at the same time, it is physically impossible to do it.

3. Eliminate the word "can't" from your vocabulary. No need for much explnation here. If you think can't, you will get can't.

4. Be happy. You notice I did not say do happy or have happy. Simply be happy. If you find it hard to be happy then you are not grateful, because if you are grateful, you will be happy.

5. Have goals and dreams. People who have dreams and set goals are consistently more positive than those who do not, simply because the have something to look foward to, soemthing to straive for and something to accomplish.

OK, these past three posts have been an example of what you can get from The ABCs of Life. If you want to know more about how you can:

Get The ABC's of Life.
Have me present the program to your organization,
How to live a fulfulled and balanced life

then check out my web site: www.raresenseunlimited.com for further information.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

The ABC's of Life - Believe

Today's The ABC's of Life word is Believe:

“Belief in oneself is the critical first step to opening the doors to success!”

If you do not believe in you, then how do you ever expect anyone else to? You have to believe that you are competent, capable and worthy. You must believe that you can accomplish a goal before you ever set one, otherwise it is just a waste of time.

How many people do you think ever accomplish their goals if they do not believe they can do it? I can answer that; zip zero, nada! Do you think Michael Phelps believes he can win gold medals? I would actually venture to say, he does not just believe he can, he knows he can. But before he got to the point of knowing, he first had to believe.

Here are 10 ways to ensure you believe in yourself:

1. Make sure you have the necessary knowledge/experience to accomplish your goal. If not then do what is necessary to obtain the knowledge/experience you need.

2. Make a list of all the things you have accomplished that relates to what you are trying to achieve and review them constantly.

3. Surround yourself with positive, joyful, supportive people. If you have friends, family, co-workers, etc that are negative and always trying to put you down, run away from them fast! These people will only keep you down with them.

4. Make a list of all the things you have learned from times when you may not have reached a goal. Most of the time we learn more from when we fall short then when we obtain a goal.

5. Use the "I am" exercise that I featured in an earlier blog.

6. Have a positive, can do attitude. If you do not have a positive attitude, see #5 above.

7. Have people that you trust to be honest, give you a list of your best and worst qualities/characteristics. Review the best and work on the worst everyday. You are looking for people you would consider to be mentors and that can give constructive criticism.

8. Work with a mentor or hire a life coach.

9. Recognize that no one is perfect. We all have things we need to work on, challenges we face and obstacles to overcome.

10. Take time to celebrate both the big and little victories in life. When we take time to recognize our achievements, we reinforce the good thoughts we have about ourselves and that helps to develop an even deeper belief in ourselves.

Believing in oneself is not a selfish act, it is necessary to achieve anything in life. You do not have to be conceited to believe in yourself. In fact, most people that I know that have a strong sense of self-worth are some of the most humble people that I know.

Believing in oneself also fits right in with the rules of the law of attraction. What we believe will expand, what we resist will persist. If you believe in yourself, your product/service and/or your abilities, you will attract those people that will believe in you and the circumstances where you can shine, which will continue to reinforce those very beliefs.

Now, go out there and believe! Then one day very soon, just like Phelps, you will not only believe, you will know! And when you reach that level of knowing, you will be practically unstoppable.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

The ABC's of Life - Attitude

One of the seminars I give is called The ABC's of Life. Today, I am going to start with Attitude and eventually we will get through the whole "life" alphabet. All the quotes are mine.

Attitude: “Attitude as much as anything else will determine the quality of your life!”

What is your attitude toward life? Yourself? Others? Do you have an attitude of gratitude? Do you face each new day with wonder and anticipation? Do you look for the good in all things? Do you think it is all hopeless? Do you see no point in it all? Do you live in the past? Do you let others determine your life or do you hold the power? Are you actively participating or sitting on the sidelines and wondering why things are not working out?

When you have a good attitude the highs of life will last longer and the lows will be shorter. Yes, even when you have a good attitude there will still be highs and lows. You will seek ways to grow and take on new challenges with enthusiasm and total commitment. When you have a good attitude your "luck" will increase and no matter what happens, you will have the ability to overcome any obstacle. When you have a good attitude, life will be easier and more rewarding. You'll love more and worry less. You will be healthier, happier and face life without fear.

How do you have a good attitude? I could say something rather silly right here and say by just having one. Even though there is truth in that previous statement, it is not very helpful.

You will have a good attitude by being thankful for all that you have, right here, right now. By living in the present and not the past. By making what and where you are at this moment the best it can be. Attitude is a state of mind and grateful people can only have a good attitude. No matter how much or how little you have, if you are grateful for what you do have, then you are on the way to having a good attitude.

When you can look in the mirror and see a worthy, human being, not perfect but worthy, then you will have a good attitude. When you know your true worth, you will have a good attitude. When you can love you for you and accept everything about yourself, you can not help but have a good attitude.

So, do you have a good attitude? If so, great! If not, why not? With all the benefits what is keeping you from having a good attitude?

May you be blessed always and in all ways!