The "Negative" Side Of Life Has a Purpose.

                        

I was sitting around pondering how we talk about balance and harmony in our lives and that perfection is not what we should be seeking but yet (and I have been guilty of this myself) we tell ourselves and others to not have any negative thoughts or avoid negative people. While I will acknowledge that keeping these experiences down to a minimum is desirable, if we are truly living they cannot and should not be avoided.

I have come to realize that those things we call "negative" actually have a place and a purpose in our lives. We live in a world full of dichotomies: up/down; left/right; happy/sad, and positive/negative. And if we are truly living in harmony and balance, both the positive and negative are part of the whole. What I have come to learn is really important, and that is to embrace it all for it all is part of life. And of course this quote just happened to show up in my email today:

"Someone once asked Norman Vincent Peale, 'Don't you think life would be better if we had fewer problems?' Peale said, 'I'll be happy to take you to Woodlawn Cemetery, because the only people I know who don't have any problems are dead.' The point is we can't avoid problems, so we might as well expect them and embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow." ~ Mac Anderson, author, Charging the Human Battery http://www.macanderson.com/

So truly, we should not be seeking a life with no problems, challenges and/or negative experiences for they also help us on our path. We should not however dwell in that space but rather learn from all our experiences and move onward and upward.

In her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford makes the truly valid point for acknowledging and embracing the "dark" side of ourselves because we all have it. Some call it our shadow side and while we do not want that dark side to be at the forefront of who we are, it does in fact serve a purpose, if for no other reason than to remind us of who we truly are and what we want to show the world. http://www.debbieford.com/

Negative things happen to us all but if we look at them as another way to learn and grow as Mac Anderson suggested, then are they truly "negative"? I say no, for anything that helps us with our growth must be positive.

So, allow yourself to experience those so called "negative" events. Just recognize what they are and how they can help us. Do not dwell in that space but do not ignore it either for it is part and parcel of who we are as humans. And especially we need not feel guilty or ashamed if we have negative thoughts about anything. We do however, want to acknowledge those thoughts and discover why we are having them. What do we need to work on? How can we learn and grow from them?

I am blessed to have you read my blog and I truly hope I have provided you with some food for thought. Please share your comments, thoughts and suggestions.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry

 Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life
harry@harryshade.com
http://www.harryshade.com/

I Choose To Be Positive

I often get asked, you are always so positive has anything really bad ever happened in your life?

My answer, of course it has; I have been divorced twice, I have been and currently am not financially sound , my father passed away suddenly several years ago, I have witnessed the worst that human beings can do to each other in my law enforcement career; I have had a baby die in my arms as the result of a drunk driver and if not for the kindness and compassion of friends, I could even have been homeless.

Now, I am not "always" positive but that is what I choose to put out in the world. I have my moments when I am angry, frustrated or sad. I do not ignore such feelings nor bury them, I feel them and allow them to come.

One difference between me and others who perhaps do not see the positivity in things is that I choose to be positive and see the positive. I also choose not to put judgement on things, like this was a "bad" and that was a "good". Or that was "right" and that was "wrong". Or that was a "mistake".

I do my best to be humble and grateful. I do my best to be kind, caring and compassionate. I do my best to use that which does not serve me to continue to discover what does.

I have grown and evolved to the point where those type of judgements simply do not serve me or allow me to live a life of joy. So, I see all things as blessings because they all have both laid the foundation for my life and continue to allow me to grow and evolve.

Do I consider myself better than anyone else? No!

I do however strive to be a better version of myself than I was the day before. I continue to do my best to take personal responsibility for everything because even though I do not control everything everyone else does, I have control over how I react to it and what actions I will take because of it.

Did all this happen overnight? Not so much! :-)

I am who I am today because of many years of experience and I am not done growing and evolving yet. I still have much work to do on me. I can still be stubborn or obstinate, and yet even that serves me, if I allow it to do so. If in no other way than to remind me that I have more work to do. Of course one could always look on the "positive" side and say that I am actually persistent and determined. ;-)

One thing that I do know, is that I have the power of choice and like any power, it comes with personal responsibility. And so, while "bad" things do happen, I have done much deep personal work that allows me to choose to see the positive in them.

I choose to continue to project that positivity to the world for two reasons. First and foremost because that is the energy and space I love to live in and secondly, because if by doing so, I can brighten up or help even one person be better themselves in that moment, then I feel I am contributing in a positive way.

When I look back on my life, it brings a huge smile to my face because there have definitely been a gazillion more positive things that have happened in my life than negative and even the negative has had a profoundly positive impact.I know that if you chose to look at your life, I dare say that for a majority of you, you can say the same.

So, just because I project positivity in every moment I can, it does not mean that "negativity" has not touched my life. It just means, I have chosen to see the "positivity" in it.

May you be blessed always and in all ways! 

Harry