Tips on How To Be Happy

Rare Sense Thougths 2/23/10
I decided to experiment and record a video of me doing my live Blog Talk radio show, Rare Sense Thoughts, from this past Tuesday, 2/23/10. And even though it did not come out perfect, that was not the goal. The goal was to have fun and see if this was feasible. I think it was but I would love your feedback on it.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry Shade

Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled & Balanced Life

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/harryshade

45 Lessons of Life Taught Me by Regina Brett

I have said in the past that when I run across something that I feel is worthy, I will pass it on through my blog. Well, this is more than worthy, this is great stuff. :)

This is something we should all read at least once a week, if not everyday!

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of "The Plain Dealer", Cleveland, Ohio. Here is what she has to say: "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more."

45 Lessons Life Taught Me.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Regina truly has "rare sense" indeed. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. Please feel free to share this post with anyone you feel would benefit from it and leave your comments.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry Shade
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled & Balanced Life
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com

20 Tips for Permanent Weight Loss

As I often say, we must keep our body, mind and spirit in balance to live a fulfilled and balanced life. One of the challenges our society faces, especially in the US, is weight gain and obesity. As I stated in an earlier blog post, humans were not meant to be sedentary beings or in other words, "couch potatoes". Our bodies crave movement and along with that, proper nutrition.

In an effort to help those who are challenged with weight gain and are seeking ways to get rid of those extra pounds permanently, below is a 2007 article from the Mayo Clinic with wonderful tips for permanent weight loss.

20 Tips for Permanent Weight Loss

Exercise is one of 20 keys to permanent weight loss, according to the Mayo Clinic.

7/10/2007

Weight maintenance is much like weight loss. The principles are essentially the same: Eat healthy foods, control your portion sizes and exercise regularly. And to keep the pounds off permanently, you need to incorporate the new, healthy behaviors into your routine so that they become a natural part of your daily life. And no, pork rinds and beer twice a week are not on the list.

Here are 20 ideas to reinforce your healthy lifestyle and to keep you committed to permanent weight loss, which seems healthier than our previous commitment to gradual weight gain.

1. Exercise 30 to 60 minutes each day. If time is limited, exercise for several brief periods throughout the day — for example, three 10-minute sessions rather than one 30-minute session. (And if the word "exercise" immediately puts negative thoughts in your mind, substitute the phrase "move your body".)

2. Eat three healthy meals during the day, including a good breakfast. Skipping meals causes increased hunger and may lead to excessive snacking.

3. Focus on fruits and vegetables. Top off your morning cereal with sliced strawberries or bananas. Stir berries or peaches in yogurt or cottage cheese. Liven up your sandwiches with vegetables, such as tomato, lettuce, onion, peppers and cucumber.

4. Weigh yourself regularly. Monitoring your weight can tell you whether your efforts are working and can help you detect small weight gains before they become even larger.

5. Don't keep comfort foods in the house. If you tend to eat high-fat, high-calorie foods when you're upset or depressed or bored, don't keep them around. Availability of food is one of the strongest factors in determining how much a person eats.

6. Plan a family activity. Get the family together to go for a bike ride, play disc golf or kick the ball around in the yard.

7. Eat healthy foods first. Eat foods that are healthy and low in calories first so that when it comes time to enjoy your favorites — sweets or junk food, for example — you won't be so hungry.

8. Pay attention to portions. Serve meals already dished onto plates instead of placing serving bowls on the table. Take slightly less than what you think you'll eat. You can always have seconds, if really necessary.

9. Create opportunities to be active. Wash your car at home instead of going to the car wash. Bike or walk to the store. Participate in your kid's activities at the playground or park.

10. Sit down together for family meals. Avoid eating in front of the television. TV viewing strongly affects how much and what people eat.

11. See what you eat. Eating directly from a container gives you no sense of how much you're eating. Seeing food on a plate or in a bowl keeps you aware of how much you're eating.

12. Vary your activities. Regularly change your activity routine to avoid exercise burnout. Walk a couple of days, swim another and go for a bike ride on the weekend. Seek out new activities — karate, ballroom dancing, cross-country skiing, tennis or Pilates.

13. De-stress your day. Stress can cause you to eat more. Develop strategies that can help you relax when you find yourself becoming stressed. Exercise, deep breathing, muscle relaxation techniques and even a good laugh can ease stress.

14. Eat at home. People eat more food in restaurants than at home. Limit how often you eat at restaurants. If you do eat out, decide what and how much you're going to eat before you start and have the rest boxed to go.

15. Plan healthy snacks. The best snacks include fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low-fat dairy products. Fruit smoothies, sliced fresh fruit and yogurt, whole-grain crackers, and carrot and celery sticks with peanut butter are all good choices.

16. Start your day with a high-fiber breakfast cereal, such as bran flakes, shredded wheat or oatmeal. Opt for cereals with "bran" or "fiber" in the name. Or add a few tablespoons of unprocessed wheat bran to your favorite cereal.

17. Walk for 10 minutes over your lunch hour or get up a few minutes earlier in the morning and go for a short walk.

18. Plan a week's worth of meals at a time. Make a detailed grocery list to eliminate last-minute trips to the grocery store and impulse buys.

19. Look for a distraction when you're fighting a craving. Call a friend, put on music and dance or exercise, clean the house, pull weeds in your garden, or run an errand. When your mind is occupied with something else, the cravings quickly go away.

20. Reward yourself. Losing weight and keeping the pounds off is a major accomplishment. Celebrate your success with nonfood rewards, such as new clothes or an outing with friends.

I will certainly say that there is nothing earth shattering here. Most of what is in this article has been said for years. However, many people with weight challenges keep looking for that magic pill. First of all, what really takes here is time and effort. The weight did not magically appear on your body overnight and will not come off that way. It took time and effort to gain the weight and so it will also take time and effort to lose it. Secondly, to accomplish anything in life it also takes desire, determination & dedication. All the same things that are required to be able to live that life of fulfillment and balance.

Most of all, you have to know that you are worthy to have the life of your dreams, a life of fulfillment and balance. If that includes a life at a lower weight, then know that you are worthy of it. Do not just hope or believe it, KNOW IT, right down to the very cells of your being! Know that you are worthy of every good thing that will come to you, including a healthy body.

Once again, I thank you for reading my words. Please take the time to comment and share your thoughts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled & Balanced Life
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com

Are You Living Like You Were Dying?

I awoke this morning to Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying."

Here is the YouTube video of it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8

It is such a wonderful song with a powerful message and it got me thinking about what topic I wanted to write on today and so I decided to ask these questions:

ARE YOU LIVING LIKE YOU WERE DYING?

Or are you simply going through the motions?

What would it take for you to live that way?

Would it actually take a "death" sentence diagnosis from a doctor? Let's hope not!

The funny thing is from the time we are born, in a way, we are essentially dying. Life naturally leads to the death of at least our physical bodies, so why do we not live this way naturally. I mean, if you think about it, given the right circumstances, we do as a child. If we are not one of the unfortunate ones who came into this life in less than ideal circumstances, then our days are filled with play, joy, and wonder.

Then we grow up and alot of that vanishes under the weight of responsibility and societal pressures. We tend to suppress play and curiosity and replace it with worry and busyness. We are no longer simply being, we are into doing and having and have left being behind but like the proverbial three legged stool, we need the being to be in balance.

You see, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in, we are technically dying anyway. Every second many, many cells in our bodies die and are replaced. As we age, some of those cells are no longer replaced and eventually we leave our body and venture off into the realm of spirit.

So, what can we do to hold onto those childlike qualities and balance them with the "grown up" circumstances of life. What can we do to live like we were dying, for in fact we are. Just because we do not have that "death sentence" diagnosis, we are still heading to that transitional state called death.

Here are some ideas to live like you were dying:

1. Take time everyday for play, something that makes your heart smile and your soul sing.

2. Learn something new everyday, challenge your mind.

3. Move your body, your body craves and needs movement, we were not meant to sendentary beings, so get up and move.

4. Expand & nurture your circles, make new friends and connect with old ones.

5. Make time to visit and experience someplace new.

6. Take time for just you, get a massage, meditate, listen to your favorite music, whatever.

I am sure you can come up with a whole list of things, kinda like a Bucket List. You know a list of all the things you want to do before you, well, "kick the bucket". However, instead of calling it a Bucket List, why not call it a Living List?

Why wait another second? Go and live like you were dying, simply because that is how we were meant to live.

Thank you for taking the time to read my words. I am blessed that you would do so. Please comment, for this is how we all learn from one another.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry

Author - Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life.

harry@raresenseunlimited.com

http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

What do you reflect upon?

For anyone who has followed me for any length of time, you know I love quotes and now I have added a thought to get you reflecting even more.

Quote

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~Charles Dickens

Thought

"You can't feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. One will always drive out the other. So the question is: Which would you rather be-angry or happy? Indignant or grateful? Upset or serene? Would you rather hold onto your self-righteous resentment or fill your heart with forgiveness and gratitude?"

~Mac Anderson and BJ Gallagher, authors "Learning to Dance in the Rain"

So, what are you reflecting on today?

Is it all the blessings you have or the things that you don't?

Do you look at the positive or the negative?

Where you place your emphasis will show up most in your life.

So, do you want happiness or misery?

Seems like a silly question because who would want misery or pain or anything negative? Obviously, many, many people because that is where they place their focus and their thoughts. Remember what you think about, where you put your focus, the energy that radiates from you, creates your reality. You attract exactly to you what your thoughts produce.

My recommendation, think good thoughts and you will get good results. I am not saying that everything in your life will change in an instant or overnight because like anything else it took time for you to get where you are today and it will take time to change those habits, however, you will feel instantly better when you focus on all the blessings you have and this will get your life going in the direction you want it to go.

And while this is really simple I can tell you that this is where it all begins. Don't believe me? Check in with yourself. How is your life going? What thoughts are you both subconsciously and consciously thinking? Do you ever find yourself saying bad things about yourself in your head? Are you ever surprised by the negative things that come out of your mouth? Would you be friends with you, if you talked about you the way you talk about yourself? Think about it and the answers will reveal themselves.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. I am blessed that you have done so. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry
Author - "Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life"
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

My New Bio

I was asked to write a bio for the web site for a new business venture I am part of called Innovision Global. When I finished I thought, you know this would be good to share on my blog. I feel it is another look into what for me has been a wonderful life as well as a way for everyone to get to know me even better.

So, here it goes:

Meet Harry
Author Father Speaker Husband Trainer Community Leader Coach

Hello everyone. My name is Harry Shade and these are some highlights from my 49 years of living on this rock we call Earth.

For someone from a small town in NE Ohio, I have led a very diverse and exciting life. My hometown has two claims to fame. First of all, Newton Falls was mentioned on The Tonight Show because the zip code is 44444 and secondly it has the oldest wooden covered bridge with a covered sidewalk in Ohio. Pretty cool, huh?

While Newton Falls is not the hotbed of diversity, it is a community in the strongest of words; its citizens are dedicated to supporting one another and the world around them. I feel it is very important that you know where I came from because Newton Falls and the people who live there provided the foundation for my life. There is where I learned to get along with others, to share with one another, to grow friendships and to feel the love and protection of community.

Through hard work and determination, I earned an academic scholarship upon graduation and attended The Ohio State University, one of the most prestigious research universities in the world and of course the home of the Buckeyes football team. Through four years of self discovery and personal growth, I was exposed to some of the greatest academic minds and the most diverse population (52,000 students from 81 countries and all 50 states) I had ever encountered. From Saturday afternoon football games, championships in intramural basketball and bowling and classes such as Philosophy, Forensic Science and Abnormal Psychology, Ohio State provided me with knowledge and experiences that continued to shape my body, mind and spirit. I became totally immersed in the Ohio State community and graduated with a degree in Criminal Justice. I am a Life Member of The Ohio State University Alumni Association, one of the largest alumni associations in the world.

I then enlisted in the U.S. Army and served eight years as a Military Police Officer and Criminal Investigator. I experienced living in Europe, traveling around the world, protecting U.S. Department of Defense & Foreign dignitaries and supervising undercover narcotics and general crimes teams. This is where I honed my leadership and management skills, while being a part of another fantastic community, the U.S. Army. The castles of Europe were especially intriguing to me and I visited many of them, including my favorite, Neu Schwanstein, five times. Once again I fully engaged in the culture and community.

Becoming a father was one of the most profound experiences of my life. My daughter, Melinda, was born in Frankfurt Germany in 1990 and this event would set the stage for continued personal and professional growth. I had always wanted to be a father and have thoroughly enjoyed raising my daughter and watching her grow into a beautiful young woman. She is now a student at The Ohio State University and I could not be any prouder.

Because I wanted to be the best father, person and role model for my new child, I became immersed in the study of self help and personal development. I am intrigued by the creative thought process, and voraciously study intellectuals, philosophers, teachers and leaders such as Gandhi, Buddha, Napoleon Hill, Norman Vincent Peale, Wayne Dyer, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Deepak Chopra and many others.

Working with kids is another passion of mine and so I have been a youth sports coach for the past 31 years. As a coach, I have had winning seasons, losing seasons and have won championships. My most memorable moments however, have been when one of my players would make their very first basket or get that very first hit. I tell my players that through sports I will teach them about life and that the sport they are playing is just a byproduct. My greatest joy is in watching my young players learn and grow as people. I have now coached over 400youth in the past 31 years and call them all my “kids”.

All these experiences led to writing my first book, Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life. In a nutshell, the ideas in this book are what work for me in living what I consider a fulfilled and balanced life. And isn’t that the point? Your life is what you make of it and so what one person considers fulfilling and balanced, is not the definition another would choose. My goal in writing the book was simply to get others to think and determine for themselves what fulfilled and balanced means to them.

I have also had a highly successful Real Estate career, have held many leadership and management positions and have received numerous awards over the years. However, I am most proud of the people I have been able to help grow through my training, speaking writing and coaching.

I currently reside in Columbus, Ohio, with my beautiful bride Tammy, my daughter, Melinda, our Chocolate Lab, Toby and two cats, Holly and Mickey.

Because of all my experiences, teachers, mentors, family, friends and the diverse communities I have had the privilege to be a member; I have evolved into a kind, caring, balanced, dedicated, passionate, responsible, hard working, ethical, honest, straight forward, fulfilled, caring, understanding, insightful, compassionate, spiritual and loving man.

This is what I and my partners bring to Innovision Global and to you as members of our community. These are the types of people you will be exposed to and what Innovision Global is all about….community. WELCOME HOME!

Education

BA, The Ohio State University, Criminal Justice

49 Years of Life!

25,000+ hours of training in leadership, management, goal setting, sales, marketing, investigations, crisis counseling, time management, body language, interviewing, psychology, and customer service through military and civilian channels.

35+ years studying all the major religions including American Indian Spirituality, as well as Spiritual Masters both past and present.

Experience

12 years of both civilian and military law enforcement
where I held numerous leadership positions.

13 years Real Estate Sales, where I received an award for Rookie of the Year as well as being a member of a team of Real Estate agents that averaged over $12 million dollars per year in sales.

Over three decades presenting lectures & seminars

on various topics to tens of thousands of people.

Appointed and then elected to the Plain City Village Council where I served on numerous boards and committees, including the Union County Chamber of Commerce

Well, I hope you enjoyed getting to know me better. I am honored that you would choose to take the time to read my blog. Please share your thoughts, comments and suggestions.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry
Author - Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life.
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

The "Negative" side of life has a purpose.

I was sitting around thinking about how we talk about balance and harmony in our lives and that perfection is not what we should be seeking but yet (and I have been guilty of this myself) we tell ourselves and others to not have any negative thoughts or avoid negative people. While I will acknowledge that keeping these experiences down to a minimum is desirable, if we are truly living they cannot and should not be avoided.

I have come to realize that those things we call "negative" actually have a place and a purpose in our lives. We live in a world full of dichotomies: up/down; left/right; happy/sad, and positive/negative. And if we are truly living in harmony and balance, both the positive and negative are part of the whole. What I have come to learn is really important, is to to embrace it all for it all is part of life. And of course this quote just happened to show up in my email today:
"Someone once asked Norman Vincent Peale, 'Don't you think life would be better if we had fewer problems?' Peale said, 'I'll be happy to take you to Woodlawn Cemetery, because the only people I know who don't have any problems are dead.' The point is we can't avoid problems, so we might as well expect them and embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow." ~ Mac Anderson, author, Charging the Human Battery http://www.macanderson.com/



So truly, we should not be seeking a life with no problems, challenges and/or negative experiences for they also help us on our path. We should not however dwell in that space but rather learn from all our experiences and move onward and upward.

In her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford makes the truly valid point for acknowledging and embracing the "dark" side of ourselves because we all have it. Some call it our shadow side and while we do not want that dark side to be at the forefront of who we are, it does in fact serve a purpose, if for no other reason than to remind us of who we truly are and what we want to show the world. http://www.debbieford.com/



Negative things happen to us all but if we look at them as another way to learn and grow as Mac Anderson suggested, then are they truly "negative"? I say no, for anything that helps us with our growth must be positive.

So, allow yourself to experience those so called "negative" events. Just recognize what they are and how they can help us. Do not dwell in that space but do not ignore it either for it is part and parcel of who we are as humans. And especially we need not feel guilty or ashamed if we have negative thoughts about anything. We do however, want to acknowledge those thoughts and discover why we are having them. What do we need to work on? How can we learn and grow from them?

I am blessed to have you read my blog and I truly hope I have provided you with some food for thought. Please share your comments, thoughts and suggestions.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry


Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will be Common: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilled and Balanced Life
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/