From time to time I am just going to post some random thoughts of mine in a effort to affect conscious reflection and thought.
Things such as:
Why is it it seems that those that profess their religion the loudest are often the ones most likely to not even live by the basic tenets of their professed religion?
Why do we waste so much time on things like gay marriage when there are so many other issues that we should concern ourselves with like hunger and homelessness?
Why is the main stream media so focused on the "bad" that happens in society and seems to be is blind to all the "good"?
Why can't we just look at one another as human beings and forget all the rest of the things that separate us from one another?
Why do wonderful shows with redeeming value like Joan of Arcadia get cancelled when others like Wife Swap and Family Guy go on and on?
Why do some parents seem to think that schools and not them are responsible for teaching their children things like manners, respect and morals?
Well that's all for this time. I am sure I will have more in the future. remember I am trying to provoke conscious thought and help to expand minds. It is never my intention to offend anyone but if you are offended by anything I have asked above maybe you need to look inside your own heart and try to figure out why the question offended you in the first place!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
You're Eighteen
Below is a poem I wrote for my daughter's 18th birthday, which is today. I wanted to share it with you all because I felt that it may help others express how they feel about their kids turning 18. Please share this with anyone you feel may help them during this transitional time in their and their children's lives. Of course if it is for a boy, you will want to change the line about "your wings" ;-). Blessings!
You’re Eighteen!
You’re eighteen but what does that mean?
They say you’re an adult but also a teen.
You feel so grown up it’s like a dream.
But where do you go from here, the future is unseen.
Just yesterday you were told what to do.
Now you have to choose what is right for you.
Life is no longer black & white, there are grey hues too.
And it can seem like there is no more support for you.
But take this advice if you dare.
From your dad who really does care.
Life is a journey filled with responsibility to bear.
But there is fun, love and new adventures everywhere.
So spread your wings my girl of eighteen.
Your future is bright and you create the scenes.
I will always help build your self esteem.
And be there when you fulfill your dreams!
With All My Love, your Daddy, July 11, 2008
Soon to be an Empty Nester.
My daughter turns 18 today and will be heading off to college in the fall. I was asked at her graduation party how I felt and I have to say that then and now I feel excited for both of us. We will both be beginning new journeys. I am ready for her to take that next step in life and I am ready to start living my new life.
Don't get me wrong I will miss her to death and I sometimes cannot believe that 18 years have gone by so fast. However, I know that I have done my best in raising and preparing her for life. Was it perfect? No way. As we all know kids do not come with manuals but she has grown into a wonderful young lady and now it is time for her to fly solo.
Of course I will always be there to give advice when asked, at least I will do my best to only give it when asked. But who am I kidding, I am a Dad so I will more than likely give it quite often even when not asked. What she will have to get used to is me giving advice and no longer telling her what to do. She will have to accept responsibility for all her choices and I will not always be there to help her out if things do not work out. I will have to learn that I cannot always be there to help and I will not always be able to fix things.
I have to say that there is no sadness in this moment, so any any tears I will probably shed will be ones of happiness. My little girl is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to say that it has been a most interesting ride and one that I will cherish forever. We are both turning the page on new chapters in our lives and I am looking forward to what we write next in the journey book of our lives.
I know that I am indeed a better person for having raised a child and it has taught me a lot about myself and life. Now, I am ready to do my thing and allow her to do hers. I am very proud of my little girl and I know she can do great things with her life, after all she has shown me that by being a father I have already done great things with mine!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Be Thankful
Below is a posting I found on one of my friends' MySpace blogs and I thought it was worth sharing as it is another eloquent way to talk about thankfulness and how it can affect your daily life. I hope you enjoy it.
BE THANKFUL By Author Unknown
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.
BE THANKFUL By Author Unknown
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.
Children Learn What They Live
Here is a great poem from Dorothy Law Nolte. It really does sum up what parents desperately need to know about raising children and what we as a society need to know about being a part of the process. As was said in the past it takes a village to raise a child, so we all need to understand the fundamanetal truths in Nolte's poem below.
Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerence, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world!
-Dorothy Law Nolte
Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerence, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world!
-Dorothy Law Nolte
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
A Life Well Lived!
My wife's Grandmother transitioned this past Sunday, she was 95 years old and really saw and experienced a lot of changes in her time. Even if she spent her whole life in West Virginia and did not travel out of the area much, she was witness to massive changes that have taken place in the last 50 years.
She was born in 1912, lived through two world wars, the Depression, the 50's, 60's, '70s, '80s, '90s and almost an entire decade in the new millenium. Unfortunately for me, I really did not get to know her as well as I would have liked. There are so many questions I wanted to ask her and so many answers that I will never get to hear. It is my loss and one that I wish I had taken the time to experience. Boy time really is relentless, so one lesson here is to take more time to seek out and talk with the elderly family members as they will one day leave us. Not to get off the subject but quite frankly a similar thing happened when my Dad passed away suddenly, almost ten years ago. There was too much unspoken between us. So, I for one am going to do better and take more time to visit with the ones I love!
One other thing about this story is truly tragic. Grandma Cutright was one of 13 children, a very large family that is virtually unheard of in the U.S. these days and had 5 children of her own. The tragedy is that her children do nothing but bicker and fight. They do not realize what a gem they had in their mother and what that woman did for them. Now it is too late, she is gone and they can never get the time back that they wasted disagreeing over material things. Quite frankly I do not know everything about Grandma Cutright and how she treated her children but that really does not matter nor is it the point.
Sometimes, we just don't do enough to look for the good in others. We keep ourselves trapped in the past by reliving all the transgressions, perceived or real, someone has done to us. One can neither live for the present nor even plan for the future if they are stuck in the past. It puts us in a holding pattern of sorts, takes away our power of choice & creativity and robs us of our time. We need to do a better job of forgiving others, so that we may live our own life, on our terms!
So, if you are one of those people, please take the time to review your own life and see if you are possibly doing the same thing. I know, life is busy but one day we too will have a "Grandma Cutright" or a parent that we wished we had spent more time with and it will be too late!
Saturday, we will say goodbye to Grandma Cutright and hopefully, her family can also say goodbye to all the hurt, fighting and seperateness. Maybe they can finally forgive and come together once more as FAMILY! Only time will tell!
She was born in 1912, lived through two world wars, the Depression, the 50's, 60's, '70s, '80s, '90s and almost an entire decade in the new millenium. Unfortunately for me, I really did not get to know her as well as I would have liked. There are so many questions I wanted to ask her and so many answers that I will never get to hear. It is my loss and one that I wish I had taken the time to experience. Boy time really is relentless, so one lesson here is to take more time to seek out and talk with the elderly family members as they will one day leave us. Not to get off the subject but quite frankly a similar thing happened when my Dad passed away suddenly, almost ten years ago. There was too much unspoken between us. So, I for one am going to do better and take more time to visit with the ones I love!
One other thing about this story is truly tragic. Grandma Cutright was one of 13 children, a very large family that is virtually unheard of in the U.S. these days and had 5 children of her own. The tragedy is that her children do nothing but bicker and fight. They do not realize what a gem they had in their mother and what that woman did for them. Now it is too late, she is gone and they can never get the time back that they wasted disagreeing over material things. Quite frankly I do not know everything about Grandma Cutright and how she treated her children but that really does not matter nor is it the point.
Sometimes, we just don't do enough to look for the good in others. We keep ourselves trapped in the past by reliving all the transgressions, perceived or real, someone has done to us. One can neither live for the present nor even plan for the future if they are stuck in the past. It puts us in a holding pattern of sorts, takes away our power of choice & creativity and robs us of our time. We need to do a better job of forgiving others, so that we may live our own life, on our terms!
So, if you are one of those people, please take the time to review your own life and see if you are possibly doing the same thing. I know, life is busy but one day we too will have a "Grandma Cutright" or a parent that we wished we had spent more time with and it will be too late!
Saturday, we will say goodbye to Grandma Cutright and hopefully, her family can also say goodbye to all the hurt, fighting and seperateness. Maybe they can finally forgive and come together once more as FAMILY! Only time will tell!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
It's a Matter of Perspective
Today I was driving out of the parking lot of my local library when a lady pulled out in front of me and then gave me an indignant look like I was the one doing something wrong. I simply smiled because you see I have found out that it is in fact a matter of perspective.
In that moment it did not matter who was right or wrong, well maybe not to me, but it certainly did to her. Now, I could have laid on the horn, gave a gesture and yelled but what would that have accomplished really? Some of you will say it would have made me feel better! But would it have, really? When we allow someone to get us so upset that we feel that we have to retaliate it really does us way more harm than good.
Physically it raises our blood pressure, stress level and brain activity by releasing the hormones that cause our flight or fight syndrome, none of which are good for us. Emotionally it causes all kinds of possibly harmful feelings, like hate and anger, which in the long run does not make us, feel very good and can cause us to not think clearly and possibly cause an accident ourselves.
No, I choose to smile and move on and not just for the reasons I stated above. I try to live my life in such a way that 1.) I only concern myself with things that I can directly control and 2.) I try to look at things from the other persons’ perspective.
1.I only concern myself with things that I can directly control!
With that in mind since I do not control 90% of what happens to me I do not worry about most things, in fact, I do not worry anyway. I definitely give that 10% my attention but in a positive, what can I do to affect this manner, mostly with a clear head and thoughts so that I can come up with a rational solution.
Now, the only thing I control about the other 90% is how am I going to react to what just happened. Of course I have two choices; I can react either positively or negatively. I choose positively as often as I can because I like peace and harmony. Don’t you? Mentally, emotionally and physically those are the better places to be and spiritually it lifts me up! I like that!
2.I try to look at things from the other persons’ perspective.
Even though I really may not know exactly what’s going on in that persons’ life at that particular moment, I try to at least say to myself, hey, they may be having a bad day, got some bad news, are late for an appointment, etc. And even if they just are the type of person who is ticked off most of the time that can only have an effect on me if I allow it too. In fact in most situations where someone else is being what I might consider rude or inconsiderate, I just try and smile for two reasons.
First of all, I feel better (You can call that selfish, I call it maintaining my health!) and secondly, maybe just maybe I may help them to relax and brighten their day. You see if I give into their negativity, it will certainly grow because I am feeding it. But, if I throw something positive at that negativity, I may just diffuse it or at least lessen it some.
I can really sum this up by repeating a wonderfu saying I saw on a t-shirt today, “I am too blessed to be stressed!”
In that moment it did not matter who was right or wrong, well maybe not to me, but it certainly did to her. Now, I could have laid on the horn, gave a gesture and yelled but what would that have accomplished really? Some of you will say it would have made me feel better! But would it have, really? When we allow someone to get us so upset that we feel that we have to retaliate it really does us way more harm than good.
Physically it raises our blood pressure, stress level and brain activity by releasing the hormones that cause our flight or fight syndrome, none of which are good for us. Emotionally it causes all kinds of possibly harmful feelings, like hate and anger, which in the long run does not make us, feel very good and can cause us to not think clearly and possibly cause an accident ourselves.
No, I choose to smile and move on and not just for the reasons I stated above. I try to live my life in such a way that 1.) I only concern myself with things that I can directly control and 2.) I try to look at things from the other persons’ perspective.
1.I only concern myself with things that I can directly control!
With that in mind since I do not control 90% of what happens to me I do not worry about most things, in fact, I do not worry anyway. I definitely give that 10% my attention but in a positive, what can I do to affect this manner, mostly with a clear head and thoughts so that I can come up with a rational solution.
Now, the only thing I control about the other 90% is how am I going to react to what just happened. Of course I have two choices; I can react either positively or negatively. I choose positively as often as I can because I like peace and harmony. Don’t you? Mentally, emotionally and physically those are the better places to be and spiritually it lifts me up! I like that!
2.I try to look at things from the other persons’ perspective.
Even though I really may not know exactly what’s going on in that persons’ life at that particular moment, I try to at least say to myself, hey, they may be having a bad day, got some bad news, are late for an appointment, etc. And even if they just are the type of person who is ticked off most of the time that can only have an effect on me if I allow it too. In fact in most situations where someone else is being what I might consider rude or inconsiderate, I just try and smile for two reasons.
First of all, I feel better (You can call that selfish, I call it maintaining my health!) and secondly, maybe just maybe I may help them to relax and brighten their day. You see if I give into their negativity, it will certainly grow because I am feeding it. But, if I throw something positive at that negativity, I may just diffuse it or at least lessen it some.
I can really sum this up by repeating a wonderfu saying I saw on a t-shirt today, “I am too blessed to be stressed!”
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