Thursday, July 23, 2009

Taking care of you!

"Love yourself so that you may love others. Nurture yourself, so that you may nurture others." - Harry Shade

One of the things I find to be utterly important, especially for those in what I call the helping fields, but anyone in general, is that we take time for ourselves. We need to care for ourselves to be able to care for others.

We are usually doing things for others and so we do not take time to ensure we are well. But if we are not in top form, how do we expect to give our best to others? If we are not our best we cannot possibly give our best to others.

I know what you may be thinking. "I feel guilty when I do things for myself." I cannot take time for me, when I have all these responsibilities." "I feel like if I am not taking care of my family, then no one will."

Well, first of all guilt in all shapes and forms must be removed from our lives for it really serves no purpose other than to stress us out. Secondly, we do not need martyrs. What is needed are people who can care for others because they have cared for themselves.

We cannot be any good for others if:

We are sick!

We are tired!

We are stressed!

We are depressed!

We are depleted!

We are not our best!

So, we must take the time to ensure we are healthy and well. That way we can be at our best and give our best to the world around us.

We must then:

Eat healthy.

Get regular physical checkups.

Exercise our mind and body.

Feed our soul.

Listen to our bodies.

Get plenty of sleep.

Nurture ourselves.

Learn and experience new things.

Hydrate our bodies.

Make time to get away.

Declutter and destress.

In this way, we will be at our best and so will be able to give our best. Once again, this is not a selfish but rather a selfless act.

What are you doing everyday to nurture YOU?

"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." - Micky Mantle

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I am honored that you would do so. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments on this subject.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One day It Will Be Common
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Instructions for Life by the Dalai Laama


This list purported to be from the Dalai Lama, has been around for awhile and yet I was compelled to share it once again. I believe it is because we can never be reminded enough that the simplest things in life are often the most profound.

Instructions for Life . . . by the Dalai Lama

- Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

- Follow the three r's. Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.

- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

- Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

- Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

- When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

- Spend some time alone every day.

- Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

- Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

- In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

- Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

- Be gentle with the earth.

- Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

- Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

- Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

- Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

I hope you enjoyed this list and will use it's powerful lessons to improve your life and the lives of those you touch.

Thank you for taking the time to read and share my blog. I really appreciate your comments and suggestions.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Are you doing things out of guilt & obligation?

As much as I like to write original things for you all, there are times when I come across things from others that is definitely worth sharing with you. There are many, many, many, wonderful people out there doing their very best to help spread a positive message and provide superb guidance.

It just so happens that this time, it comes from one of my friends, Pamela Gregory. Pamela has been a guest twice on my Blog talk Radio show. She is a beautiful soul and has blessed many people with her talks about forgiveness and the power it has to change lives. I suggest you learn more about Pamela by going to her web site, http://pamelagregory.com/.

If you would like to listen to the recording of our shows together, here are the links:



Without further delay, here is a note I received from Pamela as part of her Facebook group, Forgiveness Healing.

Doing the Right Thing vs. Guilt and Obligation by Pamela Gregory

Have you ever noticed that when you've done something for someone because you felt guilted into it, whether by yourself or them, that it didn't benefit either of you in the end? Think back and notice times in your life when you made a decision to do something because you “had” to, and not because you felt it was the right thing to do or had the guidance to do. Guilt and obligation are both negative energies, so the only outcome that could result is a negative one.

Even when you have the INTENTION to want to help, but you do so because you will feel guilty if you don't, it will end up being a lose/lose for both of you.The contrasting affect is, when we do something because we know it is the right thing to do, it benefits BOTH sides. Doing what we know in our heart is right ALWAYS results in a double blessing. Doing the right thing may not be fun, convenient, or something we would choose to do if a certain need didn't exist, but when you look back after the fact, you feel good inside...which is healthy for you, and those you've helped feel the love and care shown by your efforts, which obviously is healthy for them.

This reminds me of a lecture given by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He spoke of a study that showed a rather dramatic boost in the immune system in individuals who were the receivers of an act of kindness. In addition, they discovered the one who performed the act of kindness also had a boost in their immune system...and even an observer of this kind act showed a strengthening in their immune system. This proves, as if we needed proof, that by doing the right thing really does make a difference, in more ways than we ever knew.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't tie in forgiveness here. When you forgive others, it most definitely is “doing the right thing” as the benefits to you are tremendous. When you harbor anger and are unforgiving of ourselves or another, it leads to an acid environment in our body. Acid thoughts create acid in the body. Cancer can only survive in an acid environment. Anger releases high voltage toxic chemicals inside your body, contributing to heart disease. It also pulls calcium from your bones and joints, resulting in arthritis and osteoporosis... the brain shuts down making it impossible to think clearly. Do you see all the dis-ease that is caused by these toxic thoughts? Do you see the damage you are doing to yourself when holding on to the pain and anger from the past?

This is why, FORGIVENESS (letting go of anger) is so HEALING...and is most definitely “doing the right thing” for everyone involved. :)

Share LOVE All Ways ~ Pamela

NOTE: To read this message in other languages, please go to the Articles tab on my website http://pamelagregory, scroll to the bottom to the translator, and pick your desired language...

PS. If you haven't already done so, please consider signing the online petition to create an Int'l Forgiveness Day!!http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/International-Forgiveness-Day/


So, are you doing things our of obligation and/or guilt?

Or are you coming from a place of love, joy and positive energy?

Anytime that we do anything with love as the foundation, it benefits everyone involved. So, let's throw out guilt and obligation and replace it with love, love, love. And while we are at it, let's toss in some forgiveness, (which is just another aspect of love), for good measure.

Once again, you bless me every time you read my blog. Please share your thoughts and comments and if you feel it worthy, share my blog with everyone you know!

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

20 Simple Ways to Get Happy

From time to time I find other articles that I feel I should share. Things that can help us all be a better people and to live a better life. Today is one such day.

Of course, what would be a blog from me without a quote!

"The truth is that all of us attain the greatest success and happiness possible in this life whenever we use our native capacities to their greatest extent. " - Dr. Smiley Blanton

The below article is from Reader's Digest. Here is the link: http://http//www.rd.com/living-healthy/20-simple-ways-to-get-happy/article16181.html. This is a rather lengthy post but definitely worth the read.

Happiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to the size of your bank account. We're not suggesting that you can reach a permanent state called "happiness" and remain there. But there are many ways to swerve off the path of anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness into a state of happiness once or even several times throughout the day. This Reader's Digest article offers 20 ideas to help get you started. Choose the ones that work for you. If tuning out the news or making lists will serve only to stress you further, try another approach.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now -- the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book -- and turning the light out an hour later -- can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness -- the same parts activated by food or sex. It's also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn't have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It's nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven't balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks -- such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing -- can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you're doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren't necessary and that you don't enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you're feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There's nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you're writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we're exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

11. Take a dog for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of 240 couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stressors than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly 401(k) statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, Chinese researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time -- and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today's frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.
16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you're walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing "mindfulness," a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises, according to David Myers, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life's meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life's woes. Even if you're not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.

I am sure you will have other things to add to this list. What I find most interesting is that like life itself, the keys to happiness are found in the simple things. So, what are you doing to bring happiness to you and the world around you?

Once again, I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. If you feel it has helped you in any way and will help others please send them a link to it. It is my intention to help as many people as I can to be the best they can be. Please share your thoughts, ideas and comments.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author - "Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common"
harry@raresenseunlimited.com
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/

Monday, July 13, 2009

Are you in the game of life?

"I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on." - Eleanor Roosevelt

This is so very true for various reasons. If we are not willing to be involved, why then should we expect others to be? If we are not willing to change then how can we expect others to change? If we are content with the way things are, then how can we ask others to question and ponder things?

Life is a series of events and experiences that should both challenge and comfort us, to bring us closer to the source, to inspire us to greater things, to motivate us to be of service, to allow us to show love and compassion.

By just sitting in the corner and simply observing we are missing out on the most rewarding things in life. While some observation is necessary, important and helpful, we cannot allow it to be all that we do, for true living requires that we take action and be involved. When we are fully in the game of life, we are truly living because we are engaging each other, helping each other, encouraging one another and experiencing everything this life has to offer.

So, are you in the game of life or are you simply sitting on the sidelines observing?
Are you content with where you are or looking to grow?
Thank you for taking your precious time to read my blog. It is my intention to inspire you to deeper levels of thought. I encourage you to share your thoughts and comments.
May you be blessed always and in all ways!
Harry Shade
Author - "Rare Sense, One Day It Will Be Common"

Friday, July 10, 2009

Where is your attention?

Albert Einstein said: "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."



So, where is your attention?

Is it where it needs to be?

Is it on the proverbial kiss, the goals you seek?

Or is it scattered and not focused as it should be?



If your attention is in fact where it needs to be, you will reach your goals easily and effortlessly, while having the time of your life getting there.

If not, you will stumble around, lost and bewildered, wondering why things just never seem to work out for you and the experience will not be enjoyable, there will be frustration, misunderstanding and doubt!

Attention is a critcial element to success as it allows you to focus on the plan and the goals. It allows you to not only get the "kiss" but throughly enjoy every sweet second of it!



Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry
Author: Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common

Is fear leading you to failure?

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein

Inherently anytime you risk doing something, you risk both failure and success but wouldn't you say that never risking anything is also a form of failure? And just what is failure anyway? To me failure is never trying, never taking the risk. Failure is not an outcome if you tried and risked something.

As far as I am concerned, failure is only failure when:

You do not even try.

You simply try but do not give it your all. Simply trying is failure because of just that.

You gave it your all and still did not succeed based upon what you perceived success was for you.

But did you really even fail then? I say "no" and the reason I say "no" is, if you gave it absolutely everything you had, you put your heart and soul into it, it would only be a failure if you neither learned nor gained anything from the act.

We, however gain knowledge and/or experience from everything we do. It may not be apparent but we do. At a minimum, the learning happens on the cellular level and so our body learned.

The one thing we all must conquer is fear for fear can and will paralyze us into taking no action and thus risking nothing and so gaining nothing,which in fact then leads to failure.

So, how do we conquer fear? Through love. You see the opposite of love is not in fact hate, it is fear.

As the saying goes, "love can move mountains" and it truly can. So, inject love into everything you do and fear will simply fade allowing you to experience life in all it's glory and splendor. And remember it is the journey not the destanation that matters most because therein lies the knowledge and experiences of life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Please, feel free to comment and share.

May you be blessed always and in all ways.

Harry Shade
Author - Rare Sense; One Day It Will Be Common
http://www.raresenseunlimited.com/