How Are You Handling Adversity?

Let's face it, at one time or another we have all faced adversity in our lives. Sometimes I have handled it well, others times, not so much.

I do have to say that as I have matured, I have done a better job of it. I allow myself to get into a funk, less and less and when I do get down there, I find it tends to last less amount of time, is less intense and I tend to bounce back quicker.

And quite often, the very thing I need to help me get out of it, comes to me from the Universe in the form of a video, quote, article, song, etc.

So, when faced with adversity, these are some of the questions I ask myself, right after I scream and yell at the Universe.....lol ;-)

What can I learn from this?

How can this help me grow and evolve?

What are the blessings?

What are the opportunities?

How am I feeling right at this moment?

How can I use faith and courage to overcome the fear?

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry Shade

#raresense #harryshade #baldguynamedharry

The Five Elements of H.A.P.P.Y. People

The Five Elements of H.A.P.P.Y. People 

Are You H.A.P.P.Y.?

Many people say they are happy and many people actually are happy. What makes up a happy person? When I took some time to ponder on why I am happy I came up with five things that I know for me, allow me to be happy. Then, I also thought of those people that I know who are mostly happy and it was evident that these five things were also present in them. Now, we do not have to possess all five, however, the more of these we do possess, the happier we can be.

The Five Elements of H.A.P.P.Y. People

Healthy

Appreciative

Prosperous

Peaceful

Youthful

Some ???? To Ponder On

Which of these five elements do you possess?

Which ones need strengthening?

Which ones need nurturing?

Would you like to be more happy?

What can you commit to doing to strengthen your happiness?

H is for Healthy!

Happy people also tend to be healthy people.  They stay away from illness for the most part and when they do get sick, seem to recover faster than others who are not happy.  They also tend to be healthy in mind, body and spirit and do what they can to maintain that. Now I am not saying the you cannot be happy if you are facing some challenges health wise, I know several people who have had to deal with chronic pain and sickness and yet do their best to be happy through it all. However, it is harder to be happy when you have constant pain, are dealing with an untreated mental illness, drug addiction or trauma.  Happy people do all they can to be healthy because they realize that is important to their happiness.

A is for Appreciative

Let’s face it!  People who are appreciative are simply more happy. Yes, they have an attitude of gratitude and spend more time counting their blessings than worrying about things they cannot control or complaining about life.  When we have an appreciation for the experiences of life and can count all of them as blessings, our happiness quotient goes through the roof.  All of us face challenges and yet those of us who can do so with a smile on our face and appreciation in our heart, will find solutions quicker, tap into our creativity and bounce back from them much faster than those who take the opposite approach.  They choose being appreciative because happiness is increased exponentially when you are grateful.

P is for Prosperous

Yes, happy people are prosperous but before you think it is all about money, that is simply not true.  Many people who are happy do make a nice income but I am talking about a different prosperity.  The prosperity of a joyful heart; close connections with friends and families; peace of mind that the bills are paid and that they have a steady income; opportunities to be of service; spending time in nature; enjoying a hobby; expanding their minds; exercising their bodies and being in love!  Happy people know being prosperous has a direct link to their happiness.

P is for Peaceful

Happy people tend to be at peace with themselves, the world around them and in their heart and souls.  They do not seek confrontation but rather reconciliation.  They tend to be quicker to forgive because they know that this will bring them more peace of mind.  They seek opportunities for peaceful and creative resolutions of the challenges they face.  Being at peace is an important to them as breathing and something they spend a lifetime cultivating because they know it is an important element of happiness.

Y is for Youthful

Did you ever notice that happy people tend to have a twinkle in their eyes?  They tend to be the life of the party, seeking more ways to simply have fun. Their childlike qualities of wonder, curiosity, awe and  the never ending possibilities of life can be contagious.  Their youthful heart and soul is often on display and they do their best to spread as much love, peace and harmony as the possibly can.  Many of them even look much younger than people of their same age.  They exude the joy and love of a child because they choose to tap into that side of themselves for they know and understand that it is a vital component of happiness.

Ego vs. Soul

Before I get too deep into this, I will say that both the EGO and SOUL have a purpose or they would not exist. So, utilize each to help you grow and evolve, just understand it is preferable to utilize the soul energy more than you do ego energy. Ego energy is useful should we feel the need to protect ourselves or perhaps exert our authority when necessary.

Anytime time your approach something or someone from your soul, you automatically lead with the energy of love. Especially, if it appears that it will be a challenging situation. That love energy will do wonders in diffusing and uplifting the interaction. Now, of course, we do not control the actions of others, however, we certainly can use that energy to help ourselves be more calm and peaceful, in the middle of it. Remember, it takes two to tango, so if one projects loving energy, it just might help the other as well.

If we come from our egos, then a challenging situation can even escalate further because we are more concerned with not being hurt and what we can get out of the encounter and often how we can prove we are right and they are wrong. It is a much more confrontational type of energy and so does not allow us to see beyond ourselves.

For me EGO = Eliminating Gods Oneness, where SOUL = Seeing Oneness & Undying Love.


Harry Shade

Right vs.Wrong Is Based Upon Time & Location

What is the main fundamental challenge for all religions? IMHO, humans!

Not every person will read a religious writing and come away with the same interpretation or meaning because we all have our own perspectives. And some will do what they can to distort the truth to serve their own agenda. Most will see and hear and understand that it is about love. And the few that don't will justify killing through their own perspective.

Who or what actions are right or wrong is also a personal perspective based on time and location. Many things that were considered wrong many years ago, are considered right for some today. What is considered wrong in some parts of the world is perfectly alright in others. This dichotomy exists even today, all over the world. Time and location are the main influences of right and wrong around the world. Always has been, always will be.

A wonderful, deeper explanation of this can be find in Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch. There are three volumes and I do not recall which one contains it, however, I highly recommend you read or better yet, listen to them all for a potentially new perspective on all this and more.

Like many other things, we tend to lay the blame elsewhere, like religion, when the truth is we are still responsible for our words, thoughts and actions. Using religion as an excuse is simply an attempt to escape personal responsibility, similar to "the devil made me do it."

Having said that, people will use anything to justify their actions both good or bad. Keep in mind, that what we think or believe to be right or wrong or good or bad is once again based upon time and location. Sure, we have other influencers (upbringing, beliefs, religion, etc) but none more powerful than time and location.

I truly don't believe there are too many people out there who do not believe that love is a wonderful thing, however, how it is expressed is as different as the people who show it. It may be hard for many of you to believe but even terrorists have somebody they love, many have families they love deeply and yet they are able to commit horrific acts of violence because of some of what they believe. Perhaps they believe they are doing this for their families, to protect them and they feel that the only way is to rid the world of the infidels.

It can be a challenge to balance that against the love they feel for their friends and families.

And so back to time and location. Location wise, these terrorists live n a place where their activities are condoned by some. They also live in a time where this is true as well. Back in the day, we burned witches at the stake because during that time, it was perfectly acceptable in that location.

Even today many people still discriminate against gender, the elderly, the LBGT community, other nationalities, race, religion, etc. All once again based upon time and location.

Truly the only way to combat any of this is to do the best we can to get rid of the ignorance that causes intolerant and unacceptable behavior and replace it with knowledge, which lads to understanding and creates the space for love, peace and harmony to dwell. And we do this by being ready, willing and able to engage with people who are different from us and experience and learn from one another.

May you be blessed always and in all ways!

Harry Shade

www.harryshade.com

The Three Simple Steps to Dealing With Adversity

There are times when life throws us a curve ball, which some label as adversity. It is at these times that we can either deal with the situation in a positive forward moving way or wallow in the negativity of it and then wonder why we cannot find a solution.

Well, as you know, I love to help others with things that have worked for me and today is more of the same. I have a simple, three step process that allows me to quickly, easily and efficiently create a solution for any adversity I may have tossed my way. It is evaluate, illuminate and execute.

I am going to share that process but first some things to be aware of and avoid at all costs, so that you can use this simple, effective process.

WORRY – Do not give in to worry. Worry has never resolved anything; in fact, it only compounds the issue at hand by increasing stress and decreasing our capacity to think clearly. Worry does not lead to a solution; rather it is an adversity multiplier. And do not tell me that it is easier said than done. It is simply a choice like any other.

PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS (PBA) – This sticks us between steps one and two (evaluate & illuminate) and does not allow us to ever get to step three (execute). People who are in a constant state of analysis are looking for the perfect solution, not just a solution. It is fear, anxiety, low confidence and pessimism that keeps them stuck. The best way to break the bond of PBA is to come up with a solution that resolves the issue and then just executing it right away.

PROCRASTINATION – It will absolutely do you no good at all, if you complete steps one and two and then allow procrastination to not allow your solution to be implemented. The only thing that procrastination will do is immediately stop any and all forward momentum that was created from completing the first two steps and lead to frustration. Stop procrastination by deciding that you will do it NOW and procrastinate later.

OK, now what you have all been waiting for, the promise of a simple, effective process, so let’s begin, well at the beginning.

Step 1: Evaluate

The first thing I do is take a moment to center myself by taking some deep breaths. This actually serves two purposes. By breathing deeply I am calming my body down, because adversity tends to bring about that adrenaline surge and I am also getting more oxygen to my brain which will help with clear thinking and creativity. I have always preferred this to the “slap me back into reality” method.

Then I quickly evaluate the situation by asking some simple questions starting with, “Is this a life & death situation?”

Those that can remain calm and think clearly have a much better chance of avoiding death, I might add.

Then some other questions I ask myself,

“What resources do I have to resolve this?”

“Am I the solution to the situation or do I know someone who can resolve this?”

“What does the situation call for in resolving it? Time? Effort? Money?

Those are just some examples of questions. I am sure you get the picture. So, let’s move on to step two.

Step 2: Illuminate

I used the word illuminate here because to illuminate is to cast light onto something and in this case I mean “light” in a couple ways. First of all, it is the light of the Universe that I am talking about and that light comes in the help and guidance I ask for; the light of me being positive and the light of creativity that is generated to help resolve the issue.

And so by illuminating the situation in body (relaxed and alert); mind (clear thinking) and spirit (connecting with my higher self to access guidance and help), I can come up with an effective solution.

And now we have arrived at the final step in the process.

Step 3: Execute

The first two steps are only effective if you execute the solution that was created in the second step. Remember as shared earlier, avoiding worry and Paralysis By Analysis (PBA) is the only way to get to this step.

Now that you have a solution, execute it! It is that simple really. The biggest thing that will kill it here is procrastination, as we discussed in the earlier, so the quicker you execute the solution, the less chance for procrastination.

That’s it! Three simple, yet effective and efficient steps to resolving any adversity. Remember, if it is simple, you are more likely to do it! And the more you do it, the easier and more effortless it becomes for you.

Harry E. Shade

Results Require Effort

At times, I am still a bit surprised by people who come to me seeking coaching. I explain early on in our initial consultation that this will require their time, effort, sacrifice and resources. That both our time is valuable and sacred.  That I will be there with them every step of the way, providing support, tools and guidance.  And, that they are responsible for the results. 

Here is part of a phone consultation with a potential coaching client (PC) from a couple days ago.

PC - "Do you guarantee your results?"

Me - "I guarantee I will give you all the support and tools to reach and most likely exceed your goals. I cannot guarantee that you will do your part, the work involved, but if you do, yes, I guarantee my work."

PC - "That's not much of a guarantee. Seems like most of it is dependent on me."

Me - "Quite frankly it is. So, are saying that you expect me to do a majority of the work and be responsible if you do not succeed?"

PC - Well, I just figured you would have a money back guarantee that would guarantee that I will see results.

Me - I do guarantee you will see results if you follow the system and do the work."

PC - "So, you do not really have any guarantee then."

Me - "Oh, now I understand. I'm sorry. I am totally out of magic beans!" (Sometimes I can get a little sarcastic!) LOL

End of conversation!

If you want to get in shape, it requires you to move your body.  If you want to change a habit, you need to do the work required.  A coach,  trainer,  therapist,  doctor,  nutritionist are all there to give you the tools, guidance and support.

Want results, YOU AND ONLY YOU MUST DO THE WORK!

Harry E. Shade

#coaching #realitycheck #raresense #harryshade #baldguynamedharry

We Are Our Own Worst Obstacles To Happiness

"No power on earth can impede your progress as surely and implacably as you can." - Colin Turner

When it comes to achieving things in life, in fulfilling our dreams, in having what we say we want in life, we sometimes need to ask some really deep, probing questions of ourselves.  Because anything we want to be, do or have comes directly out of our words thoughts and actions.

Unfortunately, too many of us play the blame game, not understanding that the one truly to "blame", the one truly responsible is staring back at us from the mirror.  Sure, it is much easier to play the "blame game", however, it does not deliver anything but the same results.

Going deep into our own self is much more challenging because we have nowhere to hide and no one to blame.  Like anything else, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the less we even have any desire to play the "blame game".  This is where true freedom and power lie.  This is where we are more joyous, more peaceful, more harmonious, more attracting of the positive things in life.

Some simple things to do right now to help on this journey.

1. Be more grateful, especially for those things we all take for granted.
2. Be more forgiving, as this sets us free.
3. Be more loving, for love is the most powerful force in the Universe.
4. Be more happy, for happiness starts within.
5. Be more aware that everything is a blessing.

Finally, here are some questions to get you started on your new journey towards true freedom!

What am I doing to inhibit my growth?

What am I doing to keep myself from moving forward?

What am I doing to sabotage my dreams?

What am I thinking to inhibit my growth?

What am I thinking to keep myself from moving forward?

What am I thinking to sabotage my dreams?

What actions am I taking to inhibit my growth?

What actions am I taking to keep myself from moving forward?

What actions am I taking to sabotage my dreams?

And not only what, but why?

Why am I inhibiting my own growth?

Why am I keeping myself from moving forward?

Why am I sabotaging my dreams?

We say we want a better life, more money, a new career, more education, a relationship, to be married and on and on and on. And yet it is not happening. Why?

Well first of all, just saying it will not make it come to pass.

A lot of people bash the Law if Attraction because they say things like:

"Well, I prayed and prayed for that new job but nothing happened! "

OK, did you do more than just pray? Did you actually apply for a new job? And what was your mind set when you applied? Was it, I am going to get this job or was it I don't know why I am doing this? I'll never get this job? Now, that's your conscious thoughts but what was going on in your subconscious? How do you really feel about you? Do you think you are worthy?

We all have work to do to be a better version of ourselves than we were yesterday, if that is what we choose.  Growth and evolution are an ongoing process, leading to higher truths and more freedom.  Leading to unconditional love for ourselves and others. And, if we want to be, do and have all that we can, a necessary journey.

Otherwise, we simply become stagnant and slowly fade away.

I don't know about you but for me, when I leave this body and transition, I want to do so with no regrets, knowing I gave my all and grew and evolved to the highest level.

#raresense #harryshade #baldguynamedharry